SATIRE
Gordon Lightfoot
A prominent bird in Australia has had his feathers ruffled in recent days, after finding out that his species’ name was being used as a slur to describe New Zealand journalists.
Daz the spangled drongo gave a statement to the Australian press this afternoon.
“Maaate, this is a farrrkin disgrace! I don’t want to be lumped in with bloody journos in New Zeaaaland,” he said, talking directly to journalists who had come to Daz’s presser.
“Why is my species’ name always getting dragged into disrepute? It’s bloody racism, that’s what that is!
“My fellow drongos and I are sick and tired of our name being used to label idiots! Far out Wayne, all we do is fly around Queensland, eat a few bugs and mind our own business,” he said.
“We’re not trying to get you tossed out because you had a landslide election victory. We couldn’t care less about Efeso Collins!”
The irate bird, who apparently doesn’t think much of journalists, concluded his press conference with one final dig. “At the end of the day, the New Zealand media can’t be drongos, because drongos are farkin legends.”
More to come.