Jacinda, Grant, Chris, Megan and Phil, do me a favour and just naff off. I am sick to death of being told what instructions to follow on a daily basis. I wouldn’t mind quite so much if you could implement your own rules but you have shown consistently that you can’t. But you expect the so-called team of five million to obey all the orders you trot out every day. Most of your edicts are nothing more than telling us how you would like us to live our lives.
After months of being ear bashed about how you went “hard and early”, the new catchphrase is “it’s a tricky virus”. It is not a tricky virus. It is only tricky because you are out of your depth when it comes to knowing how to handle it. The endless bungles have made that only too clear. Even Winston gets it, the man who gave you the path to power. Stupidly.
Your one o’clock stand-ups as you call them are aptly named. Are you aware it can take an amateur comedian about ten years to perfect the technique needed to become a professional; this is a constant process of learning through failure. As the name implies stand up comedians usually perform their material while standing. As has been all too obvious comedy and failure have been your constant bedfellows throughout the COVID crisis.
Practically all your instructions have had a two-fold effect: control and contract. Control the people and contract the economy. Take the latest two edicts. Aucklanders are being told it would be preferable if they didn’t attend a conference in Queenstown. Why not? Plane loads of them are going down for holidays. They’ll all be jamming restaurants and bars. Those venues will probably be more tightly packed than the conference. You are so fixated on control that common sense has gone out the window. It turns out that once again Hipkins hadn’t done his homework thus was unaware that the rules in place excluded conferences. He’s either lazy, has too much on his plate or is just plain incompetent.
The other dumb decision is to call off the Youth America’s Cup. Which Minister is linked to this decision? You guessed it, Phil Twyford. The event involving mixed crews from thirteen nations was to be held next March. Twyford weaselled his way out of it by saying that while the Government had invested $100 million in the America’s Cup they had not done so directly with the Youth Cup so there will be no travel exemptions. This is lunacy.
There will be no crowd at the North South rugby game; meanwhile we watch crowds attending the NRL games across the Tasman. As far as I am concerned you lot are a bunch of idiotic killjoys. People are over this obsessiveness with control and want to work and get on with their lives. Your contact tracing is another disaster in the making. You are now going to produce a silly little notebook for people to use if they don’t have a phone.
Here’s a little piece of advice. Stop throwing the rule book at us. There are so many rules even you can’t follow them. Stop treating us like little children. Most of us don’t want to be brought down to your level. This country is a democracy, not a dictatorship.
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