OPINION
In 2017 Labour came in on the crest of a wave led by “Surfer Girl” Jacinda Ardern. Who remembers the Beach Boys song written by Brian Wilson? The song is described as a teenage daydream; it swoons over the object of his affection, imagining their future together seemingly before they’ve even said a word to one another. Jacinda, elected as the party leader close to the election, could be said to have had a similar effect on the voters.
In 2020 the voters, in some kind of misplaced masochistic delight and believing she had saved them from certain Covid death by being locked down, voted her back in. This time it wasn’t just the crest of a wave, more like a Waikiki wave. Jacinda had managed to shore up her numbers to the point where she was awash with votes and could govern alone – the first time this had been achieved under MMP.
Unfortunately, due to the lack of a competent captain and poor application to duties by the crew, the Labour ship has spent nearly six years floundering in rough seas. The Captain made a few calls like cancelling oil and gas exploration to the long-term detriment of the economy. The skills to manage her crew were severely lacking as the new captain is now finding out. There is a lot of flotsam in the Cabinet, kept there because there is no one any better. In fact, the flotsam can be applied to the party as a whole.
After the election will come the jetsam, courtesy of the voters, and the ship will be a lot lighter as a result. Whether that will improve the steering of the craft is anyone’s guess. Unless there’s an improvement in the quality of the crew, probably not. The ship has been unable to explore the real world because the crew have no experience of it. Therefore they are tied up at their berth unable to give birth to any new and transformational ideas.
Having turned the ship, and the country, into nothing short of a wreck the Captain decided she had no gas left in the tank and left. This looked very much like desertion, which in the Navy is a serious offence carrying severe penalties. The First Mate (Robertson) declined the job so the Second Mate stepped up. On a ship, the Second Mate has to hold a Certificate of Competency but this appears not to be the case, at least in a political sense. The new captain is all at sea like the first one.
Another significant requirement on a ship is discipline. Without that, the ship will founder. Ill discipline by officers (the Cabinet) on the Labour boat has been there for all to see. We’ve witnessed lying ministers, errant ministers, incompetent ministers, and secretive ministers, all who would be lucky to score a job as a deckhand on a ferry. The ferrying of portfolios from one minister to the next due to a combination of ill-discipline and lack of talent has been akin to rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. The ship, in reality, has been rudderless from day one and the crew allowed to run amok.
It is time to blow the boatswain’s whistle, or pipe as it is more correctly known, on this lot, who have achieved nothing more in six years than try to command a sinking ship. A “Boatswain’s Pipe” is used for the arrival/departure of senior officers. It will be heard in an imaginary form on October 14 when the great disembarkation, again courtesy of the voters, will happen. The Labour ship is well and truly on the rocks. The electorate will take what wind is left out of its sails and it can go to the dry dock for maintenance or more likely a complete refit.