When is a gang not a gang? When it’s a group of “networked criminal offenders”. When is a random attack not random? When it’s “random” but “believed to be linked”. When is ethnic-based crime not ethnic-based crime? When media and police won’t tell you what the ethnicity of the offenders is.

It’s hard to tell who are biggest liars and deceivers, these days, but one thing we can rely on is that police and media will always call a spade a manual rectangular earth-moving implement.

Videos have surfaced online showing Christchurch children being attacked by teenagers, with at least two of them involving students in school uniform.

One video showed two girls beating up a third girl, who was then told “give me your money, give me everything”. Another showed an older teenage boy kicking a younger teen in the face in what appeared to be an unprovoked attack.

Is there a common thread to these attacks? Who knows — because they’re just “random”, you see. Totally random, even though offenders are invariably “well known to police”.

But, apart from that, it’s all just random.

The latter incident occurred only last weekend, when a Christchurch mother saw her 12-year-old daughter and best friend involved in a “random attack” which saw both receive minor injuries, while waiting at a bus stop in Templeton.

NZ Herald

A 14-year-old boy is facing 81 charges after serious incidents in Christchurch including assault and aggravated robbery over the last week […]

“It’s very rare that youth offenders come ‘out of the blue’. We encourage communities to reach out to police if they’re seeing concerning behaviour amongst their young people.”

Which “communities”? Don’t ask — they won’t tell you.

They’ll just remind you that it’s all completely random.

The arrest comes after several videos emerged online showing children being attacked on their way home from school in Christchurch.

Newshub has been sent multiple videos of the brutal and random beatings which are believed to be linked.

Newshub

See? Totally random… but linked. Well, can’t get more random than that.

Unless it’s a completely random spate of mayhem and murder by non-existent gangs who are definitely not from a particular “community”.

Two separate stabbings in Melbourne’s CBD overnight, including one outside a popular nightclub, have left one man dead and two others in a critical condition as police investigate if they are linked.

Sky News
It’s just as well Melbourne doesn’t have African gang crime. The BFD. Photoshop by Lushington Brady.

I don’t know — you tell me.

Because the police and media in Australia certainly aren’t going to tell us, any more than they are in New Zealand.

But it’s no doubt just a night of totally unrelated, random, unconnected violence from no demographic in particular.

Punk rock philosopher. Liberalist contrarian. Grumpy old bastard. I grew up in a generational-Labor-voting family. I kept the faith long after the political left had abandoned it. In the last decade...