Kay O’Lacey
wokejoke.nz
Leaked 2022 Budget documents have revealed that the LAbour/Green/Racist (LAGR) government is preparing to unleash yet another ground-breaking initiative in its struggle against Climate Change.
Realising that the importation of millions of tons of coal to fuel the Huntly power station is ‘a bit unpopular’ and ‘not that eco-friendly’ the government is instead proposing to simply burn cash-money to run the power station. The thinking behind this is ‘somewhat brilliant’ as everyone knows that money came after fossils, meaning that it is completely fossil-free and infinitely renewable.
According to the leaked papers, in order to keep costs down, the government will ‘cancel’ all current notes and coinage and standardise on a new 1-Cent note, to be used in all cash transactions henceforth, including primarily its burning at Huntly. It’s rumoured that the new note will much bigger than the current $100 note (around A4 size), coloured red, and feature into perpetuity a picture of ‘Dear Leader’ Jacinda Ardern.
When questioned at today’s regular press conference, the government spokesthem said that a new currency-printing facility is to be built at Huntly on land that used to be the site of a coal mine and went on to say “who else would have thought to put a fuel source so close to the power station?”
Critics have already piled-on with some lamenting that the government was going to cancel all of their current money while commentators have noted that the currency was quickly becoming worthless anyhow. Others have worried aloud that this has all the trappings of yet another massive LAGR-government money-laundering scheme as no-one really knows how much this should, or will, actually cost.