“Hello, hello; is this RNZ? I demand to speak to someone in charge”

“What do you mean ‘Whatsit about?’ It’s that disgraceful headline and article today: the one carrying catalogue number 427970 and published at 1.58pm today headed up ‘Ardern overrode Electoral Commission’s advice on new election date’; have you no shame?”

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“What do you mean ‘What’s wrong with it?’ The Boss doesn’t like it, that’s what’s wrong with it. The Boss is fully expecting to receive the Nobel Prize for Peace later tonight and you run a story the very same day suggesting she’s flippant with democracy’s wants and needs, as though she’s an entirely self-serving demagogue and a prima-donna. You’re supposed to be on our side; is that Judith Collins I can hear in the background?”

‘”What do you want us to do? Are you completely stupid? Get rid of it. What do you mean by ‘We can’t do that’…Ok, ok — so change the headline and timestamp, but don’t add ‘updated’ or ‘amended’, we don’t want to give the game away, we’ll all pretend it’s the fair-dinkum original, in its original format. The Boss has a degree in Communications and she says this is all kosher. How does it look now?”

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“Ok, good work, comrade. Let’s keep moving; there’s nothing to see here.”

click.

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Living in Wellington idbkiwi is self-employed in a non-governmental role which suits his masochistic tendencies. He watches very little television, preferring to read or research, but still subscribes...