Meet Marcail Parkinson, today’s crybaby of the week and a normal teen, especially when it comes to wailing on about plastic.

Walking down a supermarket aisle lined with plastic wrappers is enough to set off “massive anxiety” for Marcail Parkinson.

The 17-year-old Auckland high school student feels dread, and shopping trips can become “quite overwhelming”.

Before the plastic bag ban, if Parkinson forgot to take reusable bags to the supermarket she would walk out “feeling really, really bad about what (I had) just done”. 

A plastic-wrapped purchase lead (sic)to an “overwhelming sense of guilt”.

Stuff and Nonsense

Oh really? An overwhelming sense of guilt you say?

What about guilt for wearing a disposable (the worst kind of plastic) plastic raincoat?

What about guilt for surrounding yourself in a reusable thick plastic raincoat?

What about guilt for using a spray can with its ozone depleting propellant, a plastic safety vest and synthetic soled shoes? Any sense of guilt there?

Loving the leather couch. I wonder if she is aware that leather comes from evil farting cows?

Then there is the plastic neckwear at some conference. She doesn’t look as if she is feeling guilty or anxious there.

Of course we have seen this teenager before. She is the sweetheart who reads books upside down.

Here’s a handy hint for climate warriors and normal teenagers in particular. It is a good idea to get your life and social media in order before you run off to the media with your crybaby stories of woe. The media don’t care if you end up exposed for being a normal plastic using person after they enable your claims for clicks.

If you are going to make yourself out to be a climate warrior then you need to make sure that there is no plastic obvious in your social media such as your glasses, your clothes, your phone and everything else you likely touch. The same goes for wearing metals like gold around your neck since extractive mining causes environmental damage.

Or alternatively shun the limelight, forget about trying to be a Kiwi Greta Thunberg and just enjoy your teenage years.

Editor of The BFD: Juana doesn't want readers to agree with her opinions or the opinions of her team of writers. Her goal and theirs is to challenge readers to question the status quo, look between the...