OPINION
I have been in Ashburton for the last few days. One of the strange things about Ashburton is the lack of election hoardings. I saw a mere one in the main street for the soon-to-be-MP National candidate, and another for the New Nation Party, but that is it. State Highway 1 and other towns and cities are awash with election signs, but not Ashburton.
On Wednesday – not wanting to spend any money – I hitchhiked to Christchurch to undertake a business matter. The plethora of Labour billboards and hoardings up there (Megan Woods and Duncan Webb) left me thoroughly depressed and absolutely convinced we are going to lose the election. If that weren’t bad enough, upon concluding my business matter I made my way to Rolleston, where a bizarre Casablanca experience occurred.
So there I was, standing at the edge of Rolleston, with my thumb out, when a certain well-known former Labour Cabinet Minister, who used to be my next-door neighbour stopped. “I thought it was you! Hop in, you cheapskate little Tory shit.” As we drove towards Ashburton, catching up on old times, he recounted the following story.
Before the MMP era, Timaru was its own electorate. In 1928 the Labour party somehow or other managed to win the seat and a man called Rev Clyde Carr served as MP. In 1931 Labour was worried about their chances of fluking a second election, so threw everything into holding the seat, which they did. And that was it: for the next half a century they never bothered doing much in the way of campaigning in Timaru. No canvassing, no leaflets, no hoardings…
Carr was apparently a colourful figure: a real chardonnay socialist and ignored by the leadership. He holds the record for the longest serving backbencher in history (by decades). He always slept in his office in Parliament and was happy to be a ‘professional guest’ for the Wellington political junkie set; if you wanted an MP popping around for dinner, Clyde Carr was your man (i.e. he just pocketed his per diem accommodation and meal allowance).
“Reverend” Carr was also quite the lothario: something that tripped him up at one of his elections in the 1950s. He had eyes for a certain woman planning to attend one of his meetings. One thing led to another, she rebuffed his advances and five minutes before an election meeting a naked MP found himself locked out of the hall!
In 1962 Carr died and was replaced by Sir Basil Arthur, who died in 1985, and a by-election ensued. Half a century of ignoring and taking an electorate for granted left them with a slight problem – the Labour Party in Timaru didn’t exist, having basically consisted of Sir Basil Arthur and his elderly drinking mates. A nationwide search was hastily undertaken to find a paid-up member of the Labour party with some – however vague – connection to the city who could be the candidate, and they came up with Jan Walker. Electoral disaster resulted: hubris on a grand scale.