Have you experienced heartbreak?
Music is a balm that soothes the soul and these songs got me through one of the hardest times of my life.
Music is a powerful healer and I used it through each stage of my grief as I processed the fact that my marriage had ended.
The first month was really rough. Below is the song that I first listened to, which spoke to me on a deep level regarding the pain I was feeling but on the other hand, made me smile at the same time.
It is sung by Miranda Lambert and called Mama’s Broken Heart. It touches so well on the pain and desire for revenge that grips you at the very start of the grieving process.
The stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
My next go-to song to express my anger was written by Kelly Clarkson, Never Again. The raw anger was a balm that I listened to over and over again.
Once I moved past anger I turned to another Kelly Clarkson song, Since U Been Gone, to try to convince myself that I was moving on. I wasn’t there yet but I needed a song to boost my determination to make it on my own.
Months passed and depression hit me as realised that I wasn’t going to move on as fast or as easily as I wanted to. I had to feel the pain without lashing out. I needed to vent my feelings without causing pain to anyone else. Carly Pearce‘s song What He Didn’t Do expressed that feeling beautifully. I felt wronged but I was not going to let that feeling turn me into a vindictive person.
One day I woke up and realised that I was not feeling sad. It was a strange feeling as I had been crying for months and had been unable to feel any happiness. I wasn’t ‘fixed’ but I was experiencing periods of happiness. It was as if I were ice and it was beginning to thaw. With tears in my eyes, I listened to Clara Mae’s Not Sad Anymore and celebrated the fact that I had passed a milestone and was on the road to recovery.
More time followed, and I realised that I was no longer focused on him or our relationship. I realised that I would not feel jealous if he was with someone else. My love for him was still there but it was no longer a deep love. It was a forgiving love that was able to let him go with no anger in my heart. Astrid S’s song It’s Ok If You Forget Me is a sad song about letting go without wishing bad things on the person who hurt you. I felt at peace listening to this song knowing that I had finally got to this place.
My final acceptance of the death of our relationship was summed up by this beautiful song Better On My Own. Keisya Levronka is an artist few will be familiar with as most of her songs are not in English. Her lilting voice expresses the reality of the situation but in a strong empowered way. Listening to her I realised that I was going to be okay and in fact, my future looked bright.
It is fair to say that I have not only gone through all the stages of grief; now I am positively joyful. My final song, which put a full stop to that horrible period of my life, is It’s A Beautiful Day sung by the gorgeous Michael Bublé. Life is for living and now that I have processed everything I realise that it was all for the best and in fact my ex did me a huge favour. The sky is now the limit and I get to put myself first for the first time in decades. It is certainly a beautiful day.