OPINION
In a recent social media post, a confused wife and mother wondered what it is about sticks that so fascinates the male of the human species. When her son found a “pretty unremarkable” – she thought – stick, he and her husband colluded to sneak it home. “Why bring it home? It’s just a stick. I don’t get it. Is there a thing with guys and sticks?”
Of course there is. Anyone who’s ever been tramping or picnicking knows the satisfaction of finding a really good stick. It’s a walking stick, it’s a sword, it’s a wizard’s staff…
There is a deeply, atavistically, satisfying alchemy that occurs in the male brain when he picks up a stick.
Perhaps more deeply than we know.
Hundreds of thousands of years ago, a tool maker sat down in present-day Germany with a stick. They stripped the bark, carved the ends into points, seasoned the wood, and sanded it down. Now, archaeologists who found the stick among other wooden tools in Schoningen believe that it was used by early humans to hunt.
No doubt, he grunted to himself, “Now, that’s a nice stick.”
The pointy stick was first found in 1994 among other wooden tools in Schoningen. Cosmos Magazine reports that this collection is considered the oldest collection of wooden tools in the world. (Individual wooden tools, such as the 400,000-year-old “Clacton spear,” are older, however.)
Though the tool was found almost 30 years ago, it wasn’t until recently that researchers could study it in depth using technology like 3D microscopy. This gave them a better understanding of how the tool was made and how it was used by early humans.
“How it was used” was by, essentially, throwing it at things.
Archaeologists believe that early humans, likely Homo heidelbergensis or Homo neanderthalensis – though no human remains were found at the site – used these weapons as a kind of boomerang to hunt animals […]
To New Scientist, [lead author Dr. Annemieke Milks] speculated that early humans used the throwing sticks to stun animals such as deer, rabbits, and birds, before using spears to finish them off. Discover Magazine additionally reported that the stick appears to have dark spots that may be blood or fat.
And, like all good sticks, the kids probably got a go, too.
The researchers also noted that the stick, light and easy to grasp, may have been used by children. It could have been used in communal hunts in which children participated or perhaps as toy spears that children played with in order to hone their hunting techniques.
“These lightweight throwing sticks may have been easier to launch than heavier spears, indicating the potential for the whole community to take part,” Milks explained. “Such tools could have been used by children while learning to throw and hunt.”
All That’s Interesting
But finding creative uses for sticks is not limited to the ingenuity of the human male.
Although some ancient feminine uses for bits of wood were definitely not for the whole community to take part in, least of all children.
In 1992, researchers unearthed a 2,000-year-old wooden object in a ditch outside of Vindolanda, a Roman auxiliary fort near Hadrian’s Wall in Northern England.
Being found among dozens of womanly objects such as dresses, craft tools and accessories, archaeologists assumed it was a darning tool. But there was something rather noticeable about its shape…
Researchers recently corrected their misidentification and officially redesignated the object as a carved phallus. And according to the team’s study in the journal Antiquity, it may be the first Roman-era sex toy ever found.
“It very well could be a sex object and, if it is, it is the first example from the Roman world,” study co-author Rob Collins, a senior lecturer in the archaeology department at Newcastle University, told CNN.
We know from Roman art and literature that they indeed used dildos, so it’s perhaps surprising that this is the first relic one found. Or not so surprising: instead of high-grade silicon, Romans only had access to organic materials, which are likely to decompose quickly.
It seems Roman ladies may have been size queens.
The wooden object measures 6.3 inches, but researchers believe that it could have been larger at the time of its use, as the wood used to carve the phallus is prone to shrinking and warping. Despite this, researchers say that the phallus likely remained proportionally accurate […]
“The size of the phallus and the fact that it was carved from wood raises a number of questions about its use in antiquity,” Collins told LiveScience. “We cannot be certain of its intended use, in contrast to most other phallic objects that make symbolic use of that shape for a clear function, like a good luck charm.”
Ohhh, I think we can make a fair guess.
Researchers also noted a curious fact: Whoever used the phallus frequently made contact with its base and tip. Both parts of the object were well-worn and smooth from repeated use, and researchers speculate that it may have been created to fit within a socket, perhaps in a statue where passersby touched it for good luck.
All That’s Interesting
Sure. It was Domina Corneum Maxima’s “lucky charm”.
I’m sure that’s what she told her husband when he got back from doing Legion stuff.