Information

Satire

I will have to revert to my Latin, it’s been an Annus Horribilis. A phrase meaning “horrible year.”  The Queen used it to describe her own year in 1992.

I got the “hospital pass from hell” when Todd Muller bailed out after 53 days. But now it’s “onwards and upwards.”

Thus far 21 of our BLUE MPs got rinsed with the RED tide but the TWERK (Seymour) now has 10. The NERD finally got noticed. It used to be 119 to 1.

I’LL TELL YOU WHAT THOUGH my caucus think I’m better than all the rest (For now).
CARLY SIMON sings it beautifully from the James Bond film ‘The Spy Who Loved Me’

NOBODY DOES IT BETTER,
Makes me feel sad for the rest,
Nobody does it half as good as you,
Baby, you’re the best.

Did you get an election pamphlet in your letter-box from the REDS repeating the phrase “we went hard and early?” The LIES keep coming. Professor Michael Baker of Otago University says “if we had gone hard and early we could have avoided lockdown like the Taiwanese.”
You can bet the REDS won’t send a delegation to Taiwan to find out how it is done. There they have a central body coordinating the government departments and have had one since SARS.

Dr Jennifer Summers wants an enquiry into NZ’s Covid response. KIWIS were given the impression that the RED Queen saved NZ from Covid, but we just waited for Covid to come to us and it did. Taiwan stopped people coming from Wuhan on December 31, nearly three months before we shut our borders. We were letting tourists roam NZ in self-isolation which did not work. She and her colleagues want to stop travellers coming in from Covid hotspots like UK, USA, and India.

Leighton Baker of New Conservatives conceded that AdvanceNZ may have taken some of their votes, as their issues are similar. Our ex-colleague Jamie Lee Ross has had the flick from Billy Te Kahika though I notice JLR is back on Facebook. AdvanceNZ was banned a couple of days before the Election. FREE SPEECH it ain’t.

The high priestess of the REDS TOVA O’BIASED (O’Brien) gave JLR a caning in front of about 10 million viewers worldwide. O’BIASED told him that she “didn’t want to listen to any of that rubbish” when he tried to compare last years influenza deaths to Covid ones in NZ.

One thing the Wet and Wokes don’t like are FACTS. The fact is that usually about 500 people a year die in NZ from influenza though, funnily enough, this winter deaths from influenza are almost zilch. JLR was told he was “dreamin’ mate.” NO O’BIASED you are the one DREAMIN. Of 1984 dystopian NZ.

I’ll TELL YOU WHAT THOUGH, THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING.
We need the Russians and Ukranians to man our fishing boats (can’t do it ourselves) and about 11 of them have Covid.

Talking about boats the KIND REDS wouldn’t let in the British yachties who wanted to sell their yacht in NZ. Their young son had died in a motorboat accident in Tahiti. Kristen Dunst the film Star was allowed to bring in her nanny. As one of the Brits said you have to be rich and famous to get special exemptions in Godzone.

What did you think of Laura Ingraham’s Kiwi accent on FOX? She was game to give it a go when referring to “quarantine camps.”
Others are jumping on board like Suzanne Evans from the UKIP party. Yes, a fascist government equal to 1930s Germany has been found alive and well in NZ. The Borowitz Report (American satire) refers to the RED QUEEN as CROOKED and RIGGED.

BIG DON (Trump) is crisscrossing 5 states a day causing traffic jams. It’s gettin ‘EERIE’ because that is the county to watch in Pennsylvania. A bellwether for rural and urban.

As we are all religious now,  it’s safe to recite an American anthem. “GOD BLESS AMERICA, Land that I love, Stand beside her and guide her through the night with a light from above.”

I’M your Huckleberry,

Down the hatch,
Make mine a double Judy,

PUNCHING JUDY

If you enjoyed this BFD article please share it.

Never voted Labour, Greens, Act or Maori Party. Spent time overseas, mainly in the U.K. Come Judgement Day, want to say I did “something” rather than “nothing”. Love Trump. Love old movies.