Let me be really clear: This is a headline from Stuffed. It is not my headline. It is, however, the sort of egregious nonsense, uttered by holier than thou idiots on our roads, that drives most of us to complete and utter despair. They usually turn out to be the same old suspects who slow down to ridiculous crawling speeds at the first sign of a slight bend in the road and then speed up to 100 at the passing lanes.
Those few words, just seven, say so much about the author and their attitude, that without even glancing at what they’ve written, we know exactly where they are going (with their article, that is, not their geographical direction). We know who and what they are and we know exactly what they’ve done.
I’ll be brutally honest if I may. This just has to be the kind of imbecile we all encounter on our journey through life. “I’m doing the speed limit and nobody has the right to pass me because they will be breaking the speed limit and I will make sure they comply.”
That they do so by being an ignorant obnoxious prick goes without saying. That they won’t have considered any of the possible reasons why someone may be facing some kind of an emergency also goes without saying. That they are self-righteous, self-appointed policemen behind the wheel of their cars also goes without saying. That all it would take to avoid the issue completely would be to pull over and let the vehicle they’re so offended about through then continue the journey at their own pace, also goes without saying – but it would make life way too simple. Much better to be obstructive, judgmental and then write about it on Stuffed (as though it matters that the author is confirming what we already know).
“I’m writing this by way of an apology to the driver who was heading north along State Highway 3 from New Plymouth on New Year’s Day.
Judging by the way you were driving – so close to my back bumper that with only a bit more effort you could have kissed it; beeping your horn like a demented two-year-old with a favourite new Christmas toy – you are clearly a very important man who was on very important business and I, a mere idiot, should have gotten out of your way.
Yes, I did hear your beeping, and, yes, I could see that you were trying to get me to get a move on, but I’m old-fashioned, you see, and if the road signs give me a speed limit then I’m going to stick to it. Sorry.”
Well, that’s all right then. No need for courtesy or consideration. The liquid sarcasm liberally drips from the pen and oozes all over the paper (figuratively speaking of course) and runs through the entire article confirming that those seven words were totally revealing and accurate.
Sticking to the speed limit is just fine but it’s also common decency and courtesy to be considerate of others. We’d have far fewer issues on our roads if we minded our own business and just let people through. If they break the speed limit it’s none of our business. Why is it that some people think they own the road and need to police it as well? I took one for the team so you don’t have to read it but in case you have overwhelming masochistic tendencies, the full article written by an Andrew Owen in the Taranaki Times is here.
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