It behoves me to confirm what many suspected already: Wellington’s ‘leadership’ gaggle of Trotskyites, Bolsheviks, and silly children are all officially brain-dead.

This confirmation came in today’s news when announcing that previous, and suitably ridiculous, ‘optimistic’ estimates of probable sea-level rise of 60cm per century (triple the observed rate for the last 100 years) have been revised upwards to 150cm per century, a 750% increase over the actual, observed rate…

They have reached this figure by ignoring data and listening instead to the voices in their heads, where space, unfortunately, produces a resounding echo, seemingly amplified, due to to the vast emptiness therein.

It is well known that Wellington’s already anomalously high 2.9mm per-year rate of SLR is due to subsidence of the wharf area where the tide-gauges are located and that after removing the subsidence factor Wellington’s true rate of SLR is much closer to both Auckland and Dunedin (surprise, surprise), but let’s not let that get in the way of a moral panic.

It is truly true; you just cannot fix the dull and the stupid, they just morph into Reds and Greens. Can you all please check your basements and garages, I’m very sure there are surplus straitjackets out there and we’re going to need all we can get our hands on.

Living in Wellington idbkiwi is self-employed in a non-governmental role which suits his masochistic tendencies. He watches very little television, preferring to read or research, but still subscribes...