SATIRE

Gordon Lightfoot

whakatakitimes.nz

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Beloved former Green MP Golriz Gahrahman may not be done with politics just yet. 

With the white cis man James Shaw stepping down from his party co-leader position, Golriz now has the chance to swoop in and steal the top job.

Insiders at the NZ Green Party have said Ms. Gahrahman is “always unpredictable” and “known to take things that don’t belong to her”.

Some in the media have speculated that Chloe Swarbrick, who has embraced the label of “woke lesbo”, is the natural choice for the Greens at this point. However she may end up being another of Golriz’s victims, and have the co-leadership stolen from her like a handbag at Scotties Boutique.

Prolific Greens supporter and social media tweeter Ruby Wareing is firmly on Team Swarbrick. “Chloe will be the next Greens leader. I don’t think Golriz will go for it, but if she does go for the steal then it will be because of all the online abuse and misogyny.

“It’s about time Shaw stepped down. He could have been such a strong leader if only he had worn the damn keffiyeh.”

Gahrahman and Swarbrick were unavailable for comment as they were out clothes shopping in Ponsonby.

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