SATIRE
Gordon Lightfoot
DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?
Wellington woman Cory Barlow was thanking her lucky stars on Friday night as she enjoyed more than a few wines with a friend out in public.
She wasn’t just thankful for the good times and merriment – she was also relieved that she had not previously agreed to take on a very public life as mayor of Wellington. With her anonymity, the full time recruiter was able to get very drunk in the centre of Wellington without anyone knowing who she was, or caring for that matter.
Barlow got so drunk in fact, that she was not able to stop herself making more than one obnoxious comment to hospitality staff at a popular Wellington restaurant, and eventually got herself cut off from alcohol service. She and her friend even walked out without paying.
“Yes that was embarrassing, and the hangover was not too good either,” said the regretful 39 year old. “I went back and paid on Saturday morning though, and there was no harm done in the end.”
Despite squaring up the bill eventually, Barlow was still feeling guilty about the way she had treated some of the wait staff. “When I went back to pay the bill, I put a fairly decent tip in the shared jar for the people I was rude to. Hopefully that made things right somewhat.
“I was being a real cow now that I think about it, so it’s just as well no one knows who I am, and I’m not the mayor of Wellington”.
Political scientist Joanna Jamieson says that for ordinary citizens who don’t take on the responsibility of public office, it’s perfectly acceptable to cut loose once in a while. “When you’re a total nobody and you act like an idiot on the piss, the great thing is that no-one really cares. You’re just another loser that people avoid,” she explained.
“Where people run into trouble is when they project a very positive public image, get elected as mayor of Wellington, and then think that being a bloody idiot out in public isn’t going to get them ripped a new one by the media.”
Ms. Barlow has confirmed that she has replied with “attending” to her upcoming company work drinks, and currently has no intention of running for mayor.
More to come.