SATIRE
Gordon Lightfoot
Prime Minister Chippy Hipkins arrived in China early this morning to a less than warm welcome. Chinese Foreign Minister Ma Zhaoxu was all smiles when he welcomed the “ginga from the Hutt”, but did not present the visiting prime minister with anything resembling a sausage roll.
Hipkins was famously presented with some of the finest cylindrical pastries by Prince Charles at his coronation earlier this year, and there have been multiple pie-based media stories written about New Zealand’s prime minister.
While Hipkins appeared unfazed at the time of the snub, the disrespect that’s attached to a non-offer of sausage rolls must have hurt.
Darren Camden, an international relations hobbyist and full time baker, says refusing the New Zealand Prime Minister an opportunity to have a savoury pastry will increase tensions between the two countries.
“There may have been some kind of cultural disconnect there, for sure. It may just be a misunderstanding. But it is pretty well known now that when the New Zealand Prime Minister comes to visit, you offer him a sausage roll,” said the self-proclaimed mince and cheese specialist.
“It’s hard to say what the intention was from China’s side, but it definitely was intentional. They were sending a message, we just don’t know what it is for sure.
“It could have been something simple like ‘You’re in China now mate, no more sausage rolls for you. We’ll keep buying your milk powder and you’ll keep your mouth shut’”, said Mr Camden as he shoved one of his own potato tops in his pie hole.
Time will tell what comes of the visit, but Camden did not want to make any bold predictions. “Gah well he’ll probably shake a few hands, say something about Russia and then bugger off home on his two air force planes, I dunno…”
More to come.