SATIRE
Rod Kane
Yesterday the long-awaited report into the ‘great parliamentary grounds protest’ was released.
The report, costing a refrigerated shipload of arms and legs and running to well over two hundred pages made two basic findings;
1. The police on the front line handled themselves with professionalism and restraint
2. The heads of Police didn’t.
A number of aspects of quelling the ‘riot’ were discussed in some detail and some recommendations were made to avoid a repeat of the shambles that it ultimately turned into.
The police, it suggested, should have access to far better crowd control measures. The actual hardware was not discussed but the Police are now looking at a division of Abrams M4 tanks and this will be called ‘Panzerschiff Parliament’, according to a Police spokesman.
‘Cuddles’ Costive, the Police Commissioner who, at complete odds with the report, cleared himself of all blame, said that a number of additional measures could be introduced, such as trip mines, bazookas, drones full of battery acid and of course everyone’s favourite old standby, the flamethrower. Who doesn’t love the flamethrower!
It was also suggested that a mini mobile sludge treatment plant be ready for on-site delivery to suppress and treat the ‘river of filth’, who were of course the men, women and children, Maori and non-Maori, who travelled hundreds of kilometres in many cases to defiantly turn up to disagree with a corrupt, tone-deaf government. These ‘hardened criminals’ had water turned on them, obnoxious loudspeakers aimed at them, were restrained and had everything done at the authorities’ disposal to obstruct their efforts to protest, with no consideration for their safety or their comfort.
The genius behind the appalling conditions in the once peaceful camp, and the treatment of these sub-humans was none other than the famous Trevor the Duck: yes, the same man that spent nearly a million dollars on a parliamentary swingset in the front yard, and who helped steer the ship straight onto the rocks via his support from the brown throne.
Fittingly, he received a big pat on the back and an assisted help through the back door, straight into a limo and off to Ireland where he can really pith off the Irish. He will learn it’s a bit different over there and we can only hope he enjoys the delights of bare-knuckle boxing up close and personal.
The pity of all this is, for a few extra billion dollars more, a pittance to this government, they could have included in the report how to stop the protest from forming in the first place. Fancy that!
A few billion on consultants is nothing to finance minister ‘Grants’ Robberson, and it all just seems so obvious to most of the other five million river of filth particles that live here.
Had the parliamentarians just sent out a small delegation of the common sense intellectuals in there, yes, both of them, to speak to a small delegation of representatives from the protest organisers, they might have just found out what it was that they were all so upset about. And not only the people at the protest; anyone with a smudge of grey matter on the inside of the skull was right behind them. It wasn’t just about mandates or vax or anything else, it was about a public who were loathing what an arrogant, corrupt and incompetent racist government was doing to them and their country.
The problem of course was that they had no voice; the government and the media had taken that away from them and were going hard out to remove whatever lines of communication and organisation lay open to them, the social and underground media. Certainly, the mainstream media had been bribed to preach the government narrative and quell anything otherwise.
But no, that was just too hard and could have taken all of thirty minutes.
If it had been a full-scale protest from the Maori activists in the world, or some other ethnicity or a sexually diverse group, Queen Ardern would have been down there in a feather cloak, wailing and sobbing with the best of them, handing out public apologies and reparations by the bus load.
Only Matt King and Winston Peters turned up to show their support and to lend an ear. All the rest of our elected representatives plus the Police planners and heads can re-live those days in infamy.
Far from coming to any sound conclusions, this report is nothing more than a battle plan to better subdue any form of protest in this country. There will be nothing left for us.
And more to the point, what the hell do this government and its arms of force expect when you take away any form of a voice that they once had and considered a birthright as New Zealanders?
This report would be well worth tearing into strips and nailing on the dunny wall.