SATIRE
Lily the Pink
The University of Otago wants discussion regarding its latest visual identity proposal.
We believe The Big O concept is a winner. So much so, that it could become an umbrella theme to honour diverse aspects of university culture.
“A place of many firsts.”
Love it! For many Otago students, it’s their first time living away from home. First flatmates, first street party, first couch burning, first STD.
We propose however to adapt the idea to honour those who have ever Overcome misplaced ridicule from New Zealand’s mainstream media. Who hasn’t? Which brings us to our first Big O.
O for awesome
“A place of fists.”
With an honorary degree to professional boxer David “the Tuamanator” Tua for being such a good sport.
The Big O for women
“I’ll have what she’s having. A medical degree from Otago.”
Design note: The O is an apple entwined with an Aesculapian snake, on a flat dish to symbolise Otago’s much loved “Ladies a plate” tradition.
O for Scotland
“Build it, and they will come.
“And when they come, bill them.”
In honour of Otago’s Scottish heritage, we propose an O made from thistles and Ewan McGregor’s light sabre, above Robert Burns’ wee tim’rous beastie, a white mouse to represent humble beginnings, sacrifice and scientific research.
O for Otago’s goldrush
To honour those for whom medical school isn’t panning out, but nonetheless manage to ‘discover gold’ at Otago and nab themselves a top-earning surgeon.
Design note: Make the O a pan shape with a pick somewhere to symbolise spadework, gold digging and sifting.
O for Christmas
“Oh come all ye faithful, gather ye baubles of wisdom from Otago!”
Design note: make it extra shiny please, with a sparkle on top of the O.
O for the Christian faith
A crown of thorns encircling Christ’s long-suffering face.
“Find your passion at Otago.”
O for the dairy pie
In honour of the Otago delicacy that nourishes hungry minds.
Suggest: Pie shaped O with a smear of tomato sauce, or one of those wee sauce packets in profile.
O for Fantastic noodles, fantastic needles
In a similar vein, a Fantastic noodles lid, with a syringe below.
“Nourishing young minds with MSG and messenger RNA since 1869.”
An O honouring the fallen
Their sacrifice has been great, lest we forget: those who have received ‘an education’ from overseas lecherers.
Suggest: an orgy of Os in a stack; Oversexed, Overpaid, Over here.
Alternatively, there’s an opportunity here for a positive slant: Oversexed? Overpaid? I’m Over here! (See O for Otago’s goldrush, above.)
O for oppressor
To acknowledge Otago’s shameful, colonial past.
Design note: No O for this one. These people have already had their share of pricy marketing assets.
Alternative:
Sapere Aude – dare to be wise
Horace came up with this motto in 20BC. Obviously quite a lot has changed since then.
As a special bonus we’ll chuck in for free, we propose an update to this motto:
Repairya Audi – dare to be white/dare to apologise
This is the metaphor we’re gifting to you:
Audi drivers are familiar with the pain of being expected to apologise, yet seldom do. It’s time to look under the hood, diagnose faults and order replacement parts. Including a horn that wails “soooooorry… soooorrrryyyy…” to atone for the overtakings of the past and for daring, even today, to put oneself first at intersections.
O for the multiverse
“University” seems a bit one-dimensional.
We propose replacing this excluding language with “Multiversity”.
Linguistic campaign
It’s time to honour the O in Otago. The first O especially.
The one so many fail to enunciate.
How many times do you hear it? ’tago.
Or worse. ’taga.
Our proud province and multiversity is a victim of elision.
Therefore, we propose the campaign slogans:
“Otago! No more lazy Os!”
“Otago! Exercise those lips!”
“Otago! Show us your O face!”
Note: for the greater good, we’re prepared to forgo our usual consultation fees, but would appreciate reimbursement for pies (four, mince), Fantastic instant noodles (six pack) and a white Audi station wagon (used, and unfortunately, now vandalised).