SATIRE

Gordon Lightfoot

whakatakitimes.nz

Amid all the destruction in Auckland at the moment due to unprecedented flash flooding over the weekend, one teen showed us that it would take more than a bit of rain to slow him down. 

Dylan Mathieson, 15, refused to let flooding get in the way of his goals yesterday, and instead stole a Senator RC560 motorboat and sailed it into a North Shore dairy. 

Photoshopped image credit: whakatakitimes.nz

Mathieson sat down with our reporters to talk about how he has managed to maintain normalcy during the trying times of this devastating natural disaster.

“You can’t let what life throws at you keep you down. Never let the external factors overwhelm you, focus on what you have control over,” explained the teen philosophically. 

“When the streets were flooded and I couldn’t break into a car to ram-raid that dairy, a lot of people would have given up. But not me.

“Adversity is the mother of innovation.”

The Whakataki Times understands that Mathieson is currently receiving the Department of Justice’s “wrap-around care” while he watches his TikTok views enter the hundreds of thousands.  

More to come.

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