Kay O’Lacey



Facing a reputational ‘hit’ with his denouncement of Ivermectin as an effective prophylactic and early-stage treatment for COVID-19, as being ‘horse medicine’ Dr Ashley (Just a Little Prick) Bloomfield has in a surprising move doubled-down on his rhetoric.

Image credit The BFD.

‘Look we just can’t trust the public to understand the science here and we’ll be moving just as soon as we can to eliminate all ‘horse stuff’ from stockists’ shelves around New Zealand. This will extend to carrots, apples, and oats – all well-known to be consumed by horses and thus clearly dangerous to humans.

On the subject of water, also known to be widely consumed by horses, the ministry has issued a public health warning that it ‘should be taken with caution and in minimal volumes until we can conduct further studies. Expect a proclamation sometime during the week after next’.

Insider information from Princess Ardern’s Government of Aotearoa New Zealand (PAGANZ) has it that the subject of water availability will soon become a moot point anyhow as control of all of the country’s water resources will move soon to centralised control guided by iwi customs and traditions. Simply; even with ‘water, water everywhere’, there will soon be ‘nor any drop to drink’.

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