Source: Facebook
Judith and Cindy are in a bar at the airport. Judith leans over, and with a smile on her face, says, “I must say it’s most unusual, but the media are really tearing you apart for that scandal.”
Cindy: “You mean my continuing to lie about Sroubek?
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “You mean the massive voter fraud by accepting the anointment from Winston?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “You mean the military not getting their pay rise?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “Using my secret private phone to hide my activities?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “The nurses and cops not getting their full pay rise despite our promise?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “Using that plane at taxpayers expense to fly to the islands all by myself?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “You mean going back on our election promise of being the most transparent govt ever?”Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “Giving the islands millions of taxpayers dollars while the poor at home suffer?”Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “You mean signing the TPP despite being against it when in opposition?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “You mean all the lies that I told, trying to protect the useless Clare Curran?”
Judith: “No the other one:”
Cindy: “The appointment of that “Rich Prick, Call me Sir” Cullen to the tax working group?”
Judith: “No the other one:”
Cindy: “Pissing off the Australians?”
Judith: “No the other one.”
Cindy: “you mean my captains call to stop all offshore exploration?”
Judith: “No the other one:”
Cindy: “Overturning the tax cuts that were legislated for before the election?”
Judith: “No the other one:”
Cindy: “The waste of 1.2 billion of taxpayers money by giving free university attendance?”
Judith: “No the other one:”
Cindy: “ Defending IL-G in his coverup over his support of the lawnmower seller ”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “Giving Wristy Jones his 3 billion slush fund?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “Me allowing one of my minister’s husband to profit from contracts to do with her portfolio?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “Me hiding behind the courts in not taking responsibility for the youth abuse at the labour camp?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “Me agreeing to waste 35 million on the entry to the Pike River mine drift?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “Me using the top cop to warn off any criticism of my boyfriend?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “Me agreeing with Twitford that we can build 10,000 homes per year?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “Me agreeing with Winston to plant 100 million trees per year?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “Me thinking that by passing a law we can stop suicides?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “You mean my letting the Maori caucus run roughshod over me and making me support megafightery, despite her physical assault of her staff?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “Me agreeing with Winston to hide from the voters our secret agreement?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “Signing the UN accord that will allow even more immigrants into New Zealand?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “Signing a migration compact that aligns us with Brussels?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “You mean my releasing the emails just before I went overseas that prove I am a liar and that I did make ILG change his decision regarding Sroubek?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean all my denials that Hardcore and I are not mates is proven to be yet another lie?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “You mean my denials about all my texts to and from known criminals?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “You mean my acceptance of Twitfords constant fuckups with his Kiwibuild/Kiwibuy policy?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “You mean the COL changing the rules and making it easier for unemployed ferals to continue getting the benefit without any sanctions on those who don’t seek work?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “You mean my reply when asked how I take my coffee, I wanted to say intravenously?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “You mean my Govt saying any business giving out plastic carry bags may be fined $100,000 when at the same time a drug dealer gets a free pass to stay in NZ?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “You mean the “recalibration “ of our Kiwibuild targets to deflect how useless we are at getting 10,000 houses built in each year?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “You mean declining to support our allies when they asked over Venezuela’s new leader?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “You mean at the iwi chair forum when I announced another 4 million payment to yet another iwi group to duplicate the work already done by another iwi?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “You mean my dead silence and not helping the Indian students after I promised to help, should Labour win the 2017 election?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “You mean despite my saying “the first year is on me”and free fees from the taxpayer, student numbers at university have fallen?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “You mean stopping us using our own coal, but when there is a need for it, we import dirty coal from Indonesia?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “You mean having my back office in a state of flux, with a number of key staff leaving and forcing others to reapply for their jobs as a result of so-called restructuring?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “You mean my Govt giving the Natives up north $100 million, to spend as they see fit when Pharmac cannot afford to pay for much-needed cancer drugs?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: You mean my not ruling out a red meat tax in New Zealand, despite the Associate Health Minister Julie Anne Genter saying simply that it was not under consideration “at this stage”?”
Judith: “no the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when asked, did I know the principles of the Treaty, I had to admit I did not know in spite of previously telling Maori that I learnt them at school.”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “You mean when Suzie asked me how many Maori Children our policies had lifted out of poverty. I had to say I didn’t know because no one is collecting any information?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “You mean the Government’s Provincial Growth Fund (PGF), designed to create jobs and boost the regions, has only created 54 jobs in Wellington and spent just $26.6 million of its $3 billion?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “You mean my saying unemployment had gone down when it had actually gone up 10,000?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “You mean when I set a goal during the election that we would reduce suicides, and since then have silently let it slip under the radar?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “You mean the mental health hui with no doi?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “You mean the mental health hui to doi the first hui with no doi?
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “You mean the final mental health hui to doi what the first hui should doi but didn’t doi?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “You mean getting the IRD to run a survey on New Zealander’s political leanings just before the release of crucial tax reform report?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean making the announcement that we will be smoke-free from 2025, but forgetting about cannabis smoke?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I was given the cold shoulder by China and a major tourism promotion is also postponed by China?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when my MP’s couldn’t even get to their committees on time?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I got Phil Twitford to say any promise I made as Labours leader is different to those made as the Silly little girl PM?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean by taking the fuel tax in Auckland to pay for the rail project that is now not happening and still screwing Aucklanders in the process?”Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I lied before the election that we will bring rail back between Auckland, Hamilton and Tauranga, within 18 months of taking office?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I said I am personally made aware of EVERY suicide in the country?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I promised before the election to build a new Buller Hospital, only to run out of money because the Pike River mine entry has taken all the promised west coast funding?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I pissed off the Indians yet again over the lack of support when the terrorists attacked their army? Did you think I would send each survivors families a sympathy letter or card?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when we raided the funds allocated to Pharmac by $200 million and gave it to the islands and the natives up north?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I lied when I said the previous Government did not build any affordable houses?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I said that my public announcements have no influence on any govt outcomes?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I banned oil and gas exploration, proving we really are the morons of the world – imposing a ban that is bad for both the environment and the economy?”
Judith: “No, that’s all about you, you moron”
Cindy: “You mean when I lied about there being NO outside pressure on us over the Huawei thingy?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I lied when I said I had heaps of Small business experience?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I supported the Health minister in ignoring advice from Treasury about the use of Synthetic cannabis?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I supported the idea of letting the Natives get out of having to pay any CGT, and by doing so re-emphasising the fact that we DO have separate laws dependant on the colour of your skin?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I recently escalated the dispute with Australia over criminal deportations, warning them that their policy is having a “corrosive” effect on the relationship between our countries?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when my Government ignored advice from Treasury and put $9.9 million from Wristys slush fund into Westland Milk. Ignoring yet again my pre-election promise to build Buller hospital?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I got my office staff to give totally false answers to the request to please explain all my small business experience?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I knew of Jimmy Two Mums excessive flights around the world, thus making him a weapons-grade hypocrite?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I said that befriending a neighbour holds more value than curing diabetes?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I said on the international stage that every cent of our well-being budget will somehow be run through a filter to show how it contributes to “intergenerational wellbeing?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I approved the burying of the report showing how successful Nationals Whanau Ora policy has been?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I said there was a poll question that asked if you would be in favour of a CGT, if it led to a tax switch, and I stated there was overwhelming support for it?
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean after we spent three years in opposition with our own inquiry, into the future of work, now we are having another inquiry into the findings of our first inquiry?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I said on The Nation, that just like in Australia, 95% of kiwis will not be affected by a CGT?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I agreed with International Tax experts that NZ has a relatively simple and effective taxation system, yet we immediately attempt to implement a punitive tax to drive this country into an economic depression?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I allowed David Clark to abolish public reporting of health targets and then we are surprised that DHBs are now failing to meet even basic requirements?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I lied to you when you asked me a question in Parliament about my saying to Mike Hosking that I had worked for a NGO overseas, and I said no, I had not?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I lied during the election campaign by saying that there would be NO strikes on my watch??”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I lied to you in parliament and still couldn’t get it right about the new taxes that I and Grant Robinson said weren’t there in the tax report?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I lied stating that the govt has lifted tens of thousands of kids out of child poverty, without providing any evidence to support for this claim.”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I garnered all the publicity when I lied yet again that I had personally intervened and got Metallica to visit us here?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I ignored Jones giving taxpayer money for a “Cultural Centre up north, and sitting in on the meeting that decided this, despite him saying he had a conflict of interest?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when my Government gave $10 million for vaccinations to Vanuatu and not funding a vaccinating meningococcal scheme in Whangarei?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I ignored Ron Mark saying to veterans, that because he got us to give them money that they need to vote for him next year?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I said at the UN we will be known for our “Kindness” and yet have all these NZF thugs running wild??”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I ignored that fat buffoon Jones and his threat to the SFO and its independence over their investigation of Nationals’ donors?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I promised after the shooting disaster at Christchurch, that all the bodies would be returned to their families for burial within 5 days, and it didn’t happen that fast?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when we changed the gun laws by dropping one on one police interviews in favour of online applications, thus weakening the ability of the NZ Police to monitor those applying for firearms?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I promised to build light rail down Dominion Road by 2021 and now have to admit it was a false promise?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I called the regional fuel tax Crowd Sourcing?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I quipped that Philip Morris could simply stop selling cigarettes here, I absoludly missed the point that other cigarette companies would simply fill the gap in the market?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I couldn’t find money to pay the teachers, but could magically find $200 million for the gun buyback?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I specifically told Winston to ask Erdogan questions and he refused to do so, saying he didn’t need to?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I flew 22,000 kilometres to China and back for a one-day meeting recently?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I agreed with Angry that we need harsher laws for hate speech when we already have adequate laws to control this?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when Winston back in 2005 called Labour Party members Klingons who are polluting this country with the riff-raff of the Third World. Saying they are part of the politically correct drivel about saving the world’s flotsam and jetsam and now we have to protect him from criticism?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when the Minister for Social Development and Disability Issues, Sepeloni found out 25,000 who are not eligible to receive the winter energy payment actually received it and do not have to pay it back?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when we promised before the election that we would improve the cancer treatment regime here in NZ, but now it’s in the too hard basket?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean the family going to Australia for cancer treatment has been accused of hurting Health Minister Clark’s feelings ?”
Judith: “No, the other one.”
Cindy: “You mean when you asked in Parliament if we still intend to build 100,000 homes over ten years, and I refused to give a straight answer?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when I said I “inadvertently” watched the video footage of the Christchurch shootings on Facebook?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when we reduced the amount of money being wasted on the free tertiary education?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: “You mean when the Crown had been forced to buy 12 unsold KiwiBuild homes wasting millions of more taxpayer dollars?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: You mean when I said I expected Immigration New Zealand to “reverse” its instruction to officials to stop granting partnership visas as an exception to the rules, which had become standard practice. When I knew full well that it would piss off Shane Jones and New Zealand First by doing so?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy: You mean when I let slip that I have scrapped my promised policy costings unit within Treasury. This unit, I promised to voters last year, would have independently calculated the cost of 2020 election promises from each political party. Instead, Labour will now engage a pet private firm to cost the Party’s own policies?”
Judith: “No, the other one”
Cindy “I give up! … Oh wait, I think I’ve got it! You mean when I lied?”
Judith: “THAT’S IT! I almost forgot about that one”