We all know there are some very unintelligent people roaming this earth. I mean we have a Labour-led coalition for goodness sake so that’s proof positive that there is at least a discernible lack of joined-up thinking going on amongst a large portion of the people we share our space with.

We have people who thought Winston might be a good handbrake to National’s fourth term excesses, and drongoes like has-been actress Rose McGowan who apologised to Iran on behalf of Americans because their Orange Man was so mean to them blowing up their most revered, lovable and most successful General.

But I think they all pale into insignificance when compared with the ‘high number’ of dimwits who called Auckland emergency services on 111 to let them know that the sky was a bit yellow!

There were so many of these retards that Police had to issue a statement asking people not to call them and to keep the line clear for emergencies only.

I wonder what sort of response they were expecting? You can imagine how those calls go?

Triple One Emergency, do you require Police, Fire or Ambulance?

Umm, I’m not sure, I just wanted to tell you that the sky looks a bit weird.

Ok, ahh, what emergency service do you require?

Umm, I don’t know what you mean, you need to do something.

‘What exactly do you want us to do?

Umm, I don’t know, I just, Umm, I just thought that you should, you-know, know that the sky is kind of orange. It’s like, I dunno, is it because Trump killed Iran?

So this got me thinking. The people ringing emergency services for this kind of rubbish are probably mostly of voting age. These nincompoops get to have a say in deciding who runs our country. How many votes really should have been discounted and removed from the tally last election due to the voter not being of sufficient intelligence to make an informed choice? How many votes were cast for made-up candidates like Batman, Mickey Mouse or Jesus?

Surely everyone who shows disdain for the voting process by frivolously wasting their precious vote should be identified and banned from exercising this most important of duties until they can show they are grown up enough to take their role seriously.

I think a compulsory “I’m too stupid to vote” filter should also be required to be added to their Facebook and Twitter pages.

The left of course, think that we should lower the voting age to sixteen! This is utter madness. Hell, I was playing Cards Against Humanity with a 15-year-old this week and she was so immature, she couldn’t even force herself to say the word ‘penis’ out loud, so quite how she was going to be able to digest the intricacies of figuring out who deserves her vote at the next election I have no idea.

And she is an intelligent kid. I am certain that she is about one thousand times more intelligent than all of these 111 calling numpties put together.

Apocalypse over Mangawhai! Photo credit: Mrs ExPFC, theBFD.co.nz

So please, don’t waste your vote this year. And if you look out the window just now and see that the sky is a different colour to last week and think that the good folk at the other end of the 111 line should really hear about it, just go to your bedroom, pop your head under the duvet, and come out again in a few days as everything will be ok and back to normal by then.

Oh, and it’s not caused by bloody climate change, it’s caused by rampant ideological Green fascists who value the lives of gnats over humans. Well, I mean that and arsonists.

Just remember, according to IQtestforfree.net the average IQ in New Zealand is 98. And half of our population is dumber than that!

ExPFC, ex lots of things. I'm a passionate user of fossil fuels, a proud flag flying Kiwi, I have trouble suffering fools and the permanently offended. Sometimes I may play the devil's advocate, sometimes...