OPINION
A curious thing emerged during the 1980s that has continued through to the present day. In popular music, Whitney Houston’s “Saving All My Love for You”, started the trend of yodelling. You can hear them all doing it if you listen closely. In acting, Michael J Fox in Back to the Future, and most notably in his film Casualties Of War, started the trend of seemingly endless heavy breathing for no apparent reason.
Why these activities are undertaken is simple: it’s a substitute for talent. If you’re a singer who’s not particularly good, just start yodelling to pretend you’re hitting the high notes. If you’re a ham actor, just start heavy breathing and everyone thinks you’re Brando. It’s all rather peculiar.
The benefits of this kind of lark have not been lost on Chris Hipkins. In his case it was to steal your credit card, play Santa Claus buying gifts, nights out, takeaway dinners, holidays in Queenstown for your neighbour, then waltz off into the sunset leaving you with the bill. When, predictably, you announce you’re heavily in debt, interest charges are mounting by the minute and you will no longer be giving free stuff to your neighbour, Mr Hipkins denounces you as ‘cruel and heartless’.
How he reaches this conclusion is puzzling to me, but it’s happening and with the full support of the press gallery parasites. It gets even more puzzling when his contentions are applied to reductions in the public service. One example that has received a great deal of media comment and handwringing are the plans to reduce the 268 per cent increase in staff at the Ministry For Pacific Peoples. Apparently the world is suddenly ending, according to various hack (ahem) ‘journalists’, but let us take a closer look at this matter and see what we come up with.
Some questions:
- Did you know, prior to last week, there even was a Ministry for Pacific Peoples?
- Do you know what it does?
- Can you name a single task undertaken by this 268 per cent increase in staff?
- Maybe just one? One single, solitary task by one newly employed staffer?
- No?
- Have you consulted a map of the world lately?
- Does this ministry assist people in California, Chile, Mexico, Japan, Queensland and other “Pacific” peoples?
- Why do Huntington Beach millionaires require a New Zealand government department to do things for them?
- Has anyone told people in California they have their own New Zealand government department?
- If the ministry reduced staff numbers back to what they were in 2017, years before you knew the ministry existed, would you notice?
- Do you think anyone else would?
- Do housewives in Timaru, shearers in Southland and beekeepers in Northland care there is such a ministry?
- What about Cairns hoteliers?
In short, folks, forget about staff reductions – can anybody think of a reason why it needs to even exist? (Serious question! I can’t think of one but perhaps you can.)
But here is an idea for you to ponder: the public servants (amongst others) voted Green last year and elected a couple of non-entities as Green MPs in Wellington. Could it be that Mr Hipkins doesn’t want to give the game away (hint: vote for commies and get fired by unsympathetic Tory Ministers), causing lots of now unemployed public servants to wake up and vote Tory and so he creates a diversion by pretending something ‘cruel and heartless’ is occurring (i.e., the political version of a substitute for talent)?