OPINION
Harry Palmer
The Bible, in both the Old and New Testaments makes it obvious that marriage is between a man and a woman. And it even has a go at cross dressing and transvestitism in Deuteronomy 22:5: “A woman shall not wear a man’s garment, nor shall a man put on a woman’s cloak, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord your God.”
Just an idea you might like to consider, though slightly off the main topic: the Israelites of the Old Testament were encouraged to follow hundreds of laws pertaining to ritual sacrifice, to the cleanliness of the person and such: the disciplining of the body with the intention of keeping the individual’s mind set on God. Jesus brought the reverse to us: the conditioning of the individual heart to discipline the body, which it survives into eternal life, in order to keep us on the straight and narrow all the way to our home with Him. This concept appears to be completely missing from consideration by the ‘progressive’ leaders of today’s Christian churches, where being absorbed into the indifferent mainstream and acquiescence to the dominant, atheistic/agnostic culture seems to be the aim.
It has me puzzled as to how a couple of old ladies, ordained ministers in the Church of England, seem to think God himself is going to be as easy a pushover as their boss, the Archbishop of Canterbury, in getting Him to accept that they’re ‘married’ to each other. Admittedly, they only received a blessing performed by one of their colleagues, bell book and candle and all that, together in a church, the first for a lesbian couple in the Church of England, but many fear this is the foot in the door and that there will be howls of outrage if the allowance of actual marriage ceremonies doesn’t follow soon. Then the Catholic Church will be under onslaught from ‘opinion formers’ in the mass media to follow suit. And who’s to say the Catholic hierarchy won’t acquiesce, like when they shut down their churches during Covid lockdowns? After all, the following day, the Pope allowed priests to ‘bless’ gay couples. And then Archbishop Franz Lackner, head of the Austrian Bishops’ Conference says priests cannot say no to a request for a ‘blessing’ of a homosexual couple.
I think that we mistakenly labour under the belief that all love is the same, which is the useful premise these ladies and gay men use to justify putting pressure on the church and law makers to force their acceptance, because ‘we’re in love’, so they should be treated the same way as heterosexual couples are.
The ancient Greeks had a nuanced understanding of love and recognised six distinct types:
- Eros: This is the passionate, romantic love that we often associate with love stories and Hollywood romances. It’s characterized by intense physical attraction, desire and infatuation.
- Philia: This is a deep, abiding friendship that goes beyond casual acquaintances. It’s rooted in mutual respect, trust, shared interests and a sense of loyalty.
- Ludus: This is playful, flirtatious love that brings joy and lightheartedness into relationships. It’s characterized by humour, teasing and a sense of fun.
- Agape: This is selfless, unconditional love that is often associated with religious devotion or acts of service. It’s characterised by compassion, empathy and a willingness to put the needs of others before one’s own.
- Philautia: This is self-love, which is considered a necessary foundation for healthy relationships with others. It’s about accepting and appreciating oneself, setting boundaries and taking care of one’s physical and mental wellbeing.
- Pragma: This is mature, practical love that is based on compatibility, shared values and a commitment to building a lasting relationship. It’s characterised by realism, consideration and a willingness to work through challenges together.
The ‘kind’ of love a gay person feels when they declare that they’re ‘in love’ is never explained, though one can easily assume that those who insist they should be able to marry in a Christian church relate their love to the kind described in point one above. For heterosexual couples, ‘eros’ love usually leads to marriage and eventually the arrival of children. Gay couples obviously cannot reproduce, so if one has to guess – and this is where I suspect churches struggle – as to whether they genuinely do love each other, following the Christian definition of ‘love’ given in chapter 13 of the Apostle Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians (below) but where sexual intimacy never occurs, or if the word love is being used as a euphemism for ‘lust’. I would happily advocate for the blessing of a gay couple in the first instance, whereas if lust is disguised as love to demand a blessing or marriage ceremony or to progress a cause – similar to the way in which ‘lawfare’ was used in America to force a Christian baker to decorate a cake with words at which his Christian conscience baulked – I believe such a request should be denied.
Where it becomes a scandal, for me, is when the cowardly leaders of the Christian churches – as they seem to have done recently – become willing to welcome anyone who claims to be gay into their churches for a blessing.
Though I am willing to accept a percentage of the gay community are celibate and have a longstanding and faithful relationship with their partner, on the other side of the gay coin are those who we’re probably over familiar with: those ‘out and proud’ and at ‘gay parades’, those for whom ‘cruising’ and hanging around in night clubs is a chosen, sometimes all encompassing, lifestyle. A lifestyle that can include having multiple partners and which usually includes sexual practices, the use of drugs like GBH (gamma-hydroxybutyric acid), methamphetamines and/or amyl nitrates and, through oral sex and anal penetration, sexually transmitted infections, anal fissures, cancer of the throat and diseases like hepatitis, herpes, human papillomavirus virus and other infections, not to mention HIV and AIDS.
How dare you refuse to drink out of the same communion cup of wine as me! You’re nothing but a lousy homophobe!
One is a wee bit curious to know: what are these two elderly clergy women up to? Are they full-on advocates for the ‘other side of the coin’ gay scene and determined to progress ‘the cause’ on behalf their alternative community? A couple of old lesbians who like a bit of slap and tickle and you-know-what between the sheets, and are signaling to their parishioners that there’s still a bit of life left in the old gals yet, or just a couple of ladies who enjoy each other’s company? Whichever it is, they both know as clergy, supposed leaders in their respective religious communities, that they are pushing the boundaries, both those laid down in the Bible and according to St Paul in his letter to the Corinthians below: love is “not self seeking” etc. Whatever their motive – some would no doubt call it ‘brave’ – instead of just quietly getting on with their lives together and remaining in relative obscurity, they’ve chosen to exit the closet with arms wide open to be received ‘joyfully’ by fellow clergy.
While in the meantime, those congregation and clergy who follow the Word rather more closely than their own selfish instincts – express and harbour fears that those two lady clergy and their sympathisers are trying to force the hand of Christian churches in order to get them to throw the rules by which they’ve abided for the past two millennia to the winds and their souls to the Devil.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1:13 St Paul’s letter to the Corinthians
(St Paul apparently spoke several languages but, being a native of Tarsus, he presumably spoke Koine Greek, which evolved into that simpler version from Ancient Greek, so he would have been familiar with the six varieties of love given at the beginning of this piece.)