SATIRE

Rosemary Abbott

whakatakitimes.nz

EXPLOSIVE ALLEGATIONS

TVNZ have promised to double-check their news sources the next time they get it into their heads that a leader of a New Zealand political party has made an actual threat of violence. 

This assurance comes hot on the heels of a bizarre apology issued by Breakfast host Anna Burns-Francis earlier today.

The saga began when David Seymour, leader of New Zealand’s Act Party, stirred the political pot, boldly declaring his commitment to dismantling the Ministry of Pacific Peoples if elected. However, for Burns-Francis, it was his tongue-in-cheek remark that triggered a spell of Seymour Derangement Syndrome. 

“In my fantasy,” Seymour chuckled during an interview on Newstalk ZB, “we’d send a guy called Guy Fawkes in there, and it’d be all over, but we’ll probably have to have a more formal approach than that.”

Burns-Francis, who seemed convinced Seymour was going to carry out some sort of radical act like Guy Fawkes did in 1605 in the UK, was eventually forced to apologise for misquoting the Act leader, who no doubt appreciated the extra air time he scored for his party. 

More to come. 

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