What is it with the totalitarian mindset that is so obsessed with “health”? In the 1930s, the Nazis and Fascists were obsessed with a cult of the athletic body, which they forced on the public through such state-run programs as Gemeinschaft Kraft durch Freude (“Strength Through Joy”). The Soviets, too, had Dinamo (“Power in Motion”), the State Political Directorate Physical Culture society and the Children and Youth Sport Schools.
In its turn, Maoist China was synonymous with mass public exercise regimes — now making a comeback under Xi, with the Beijing General Workers’ Union mandating collective exercise programs for the city’s workers.
Not to be outdone, the Little Dictators of a Melbourne council are setting up their own Strength Through Joy regime.
In a new health push, deep-fried ‘dimmies’ and chips are on the outer at Greater Dandenong Council’s sports canteens and kitchens.
Built-in oil fryers are being gradually phased out as council’s sports pavilions are upgraded.
Clubs have also been banned from using freestanding benchtop deep fryers under new pavilion-hire agreements.
Dandenong Star Journal
As you can imagine, footy fans are not exactly dancing with joy at the thought of snacking on a kale salad or rice cake while the boys kick around the pigskin.
Football fans in Victoria’s south-east have lashed a proposal to ban deep fryers in a bid to push healthy eating […]
“Deep fried food is a footy food, that’s why you go to the footy, to get your chips and your dim sims and stuff like that,” one woman said.
“I definitely eat greasy on a Saturday morning, so please keep the deep fried chips and potato cakes and all that,” another woman said.
One fan even went so far as to say the proposed ban was not the Australian way.
“Everyone loves their chips and gravy at the footy on a winter’s day,” one man said.
“It’d be a bit like having no beer at the footy, it’s un-Australian”.
Jesus, don’t even mention beer. You’ll only start giving them ideas. Get ready to choose between mineral water (unflavoured, of course!), kombucha, or herbal tea.
The Greater Dandenong Council is proposing to phase out deep-fried foods, with a switch to air fryers as council facilities are upgraded.
As anyone whose tried to fit one of those behemoths in the kitchen knows, air fryers, whatever their merits, take up a whole lot of kitchen real estate for very little return in food quantity.
Now, try and imagine whipping up enough chips to satisfy the queue at the clubhouse window.
Local sporting clubs, including Doveton Football and Netball Club, believe the move could affect their revenue and fundraising.
“You can only do a cup or two of chips in an air fryer at a time, where we can do possibly 10 to 12 cups at a time in two baskets in a deep fryer,” Debby Henwood from the club said.
“Bugger off, in a polite way”
Debby Henwood, Doveton Football and Netball Club
The healthy eating commissars are undeterred by such counter-revolutionary reactionaries, though.
Greater Dandenong mayor Eden Foster said there are many healthier ways to cook that are still quick.
“Ultimately what we want is for healthy options to be available for our community,” Foster said.
9News
Yes, there’s cricket meal, cricket and mealworm chocolate (carob, of course), and, for the kiddies, real ant candy.
Doesn’t that sound doubleplusgood, comrades?