SATIRE
Gordon Lightfoot
Prime Minister Chris ‘Chippy’ Hipkins has been teasing for months his focus on meat pies and pastries for the upcoming election. The media coverage on the issue has been undeniable.
In March it was reported that the Real Meat Pies bakery in Lower Hutt was still the Prime Minister’s favourite place for a steak and cheese, and more recently he was gifted sausage rolls by King Charles III at the coronation.
Pundits believe that all this pastry-based media coverage is building up to a major announcement for Labour.
There are some rumours floating about that pies and other savoury pastries could be subsidised for low income families and students.
Some say there could even be a price cap on pastries being sold at all New Zealand bakeries. This would no doubt be another kick in the guts for small business and another win for proponents of the nanny state.
Dannevirke baker Mason Dickson has voted Labour all his life, but says another intrusion on his business could be the final straw. “I don’t know if Hipkins knows this, but people are doing it tough at the moment. And the cost of living includes the cost of ingredients for pastry and filling!
“If it costs more to make a pie then the sale price has to go up! We won’t put up with a price cap and Chippy can shove his consultation document where the sun don’t shine!” said the riled up pie maker.
Most are expecting a lolly scramble announcement fairly soon as October looms. Time will tell what kinds of freshly baked bribery Labour will announce ahead of this election.
More to come.