What are Americans wanking to in 2022? Now, I’m sure this hasn’t been exactly the most burning question keeping BFD readers up at night. But, like Barry Petchesky’s annual round-up of What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?, America’s most popular porn searches is as much an annual tradition as dropping the ball in Times Square or Groundhog Day.
So, put both hands on the keyboard, you filthy animals, and let’s go down the rabbit hole of America’s Most Popular Porn Searches.
Adult video-hosting website Pornhub released what it called The 2022 Year in Review – a number of telling statistics about what its visitors have searched – revealing trends behind America’s changing attitudes towards sex.
Firstly, Americans are Pornhub’s best customers.
The US was by far the county that generated the most traffic on the Canadian-owned website, with the UK coming in second position, followed by France, Japan, Mexico, Italy and Germany.
Americans also seem to be able to track just the porn video that’ll get them off, and duly get off, in pretty short order.
Information was also available relating to how long users from various places stayed on the site when they visited – in general that was between nine and 11 minutes, on average.
That’s tracking down their favourite “step-bro” video and, er, doing the deed, in less time than it took me to decide whether to have Earl Grey or Irish Breakfast tea this morning.
It also looks like the fastest triggers are being pulled in the Blue states.
States in which users appeared to stay on the website the longest were: Alabama, Louisiana, South Carolina, Missouri, Arkansas and Mississippi, all of which were Republican for the last four presidential elections.
Conversely, four of the six that were on the site for the shortest times were: Washington, Delaware, Oregon and Minnesota, all four of which voted Democrat in the last four presidential elections.
But if you think America is deeply divided over politics, it’s nothing compared to the rich and varied tapestry that is each of the 52 states’ preferred whacking-off material.
Search terms entered into the site varied across the US, suggestive of state-by-state demographic and religious differences.
In New York State the term searched more relative to other states was ‘Dominican’ whereas in California it was ‘Asian’.
In Utah, predictably, the most prominent term relative to others was ‘Mormon’. Across the South in states like Louisiana, Arkansas, Alabama and Mississippi, ‘Black’ was a disproportionately popular search term.
In North Dakota ‘Black’ was also a common search term, but there African Americans make up just three per cent of the population.
Proving that there’s nothing the legacy media won’t try and spin fake news about, the Daily Mail would have us believe that US, ahem, erotica connoisseurs are jumping on the tranny train.
Internationally the transgender category grew by 75 per cent, making it the seventh most popular around the world and number one in Brazil.
In reality, leaving aside the Land That Pubes forgot, only one American state was flogging the dolphin big-time to chicks-with-dicks: West Virginia. Guess they ain’t into mountin’ mamas.
State-by-state, in fact, the most popular searches seem to align pretty closely with popular stereotypes.
For instances, the weirdos in Oregon are hot for furry porn. Oh, great, now I have a mental image of Bernie Sanders jackin’ it to some dude in a cartoon dog costume. The goggles do nuzzink. But then, Indiana is also a hotspot for furry porn – unless they’re confusing ‘corn husker’ and ‘huskie’.
Utahans? Utahians? Utites? are predictably hot for “Mormon” porn. Yes, such a thing exists. New Mexico, surprise, surprise, is big on “Latina”. Delaware has a thing for “MILF”: must have something to do with seeing Jill Biden on their TVs all the time.
As for Arizona, I really hope those desert-dwellers are just getting off on watching chicks get clean, and “shower” doesn’t mean something else.
For the tech-heads, it seems that mobiles are definitely the future of porn.
Over the year 84 per cent of visitors to the site came on their mobile phones, while 13 per cent were browsing on desktop computers and three per cent on tablets. Tablets were down a whopping 34 per cent on last year.
Daily Mail
And forget crypto – porno’s clearly where the money is at. Pornhub raked in $98bn last year.
If you want in on that action, here’s a tip: the top five terms overall were “lesbian”, “hentai”, “ebony”, “Latina” and “Asian”. So, I guess if you want to rake in the bucks, make a cartoon about a Black, a Mexican and an Asian girl who walk into a bar…