Every day a survey sails into my inbox; I complete it and receive “points” that can be redeemed for vouchers in due course. In the last eight years of completing surveys, I have accumulated sufficient points and vouchers to purchase 63 Agatha Christie novels and all Quentin Tarantino movies on DVD, for free.
What often intrigues me is the topic, the actual matter being surveyed, where I cannot help wondering why anybody would spend money to ascertain such information. Examples over the years include:
- Whether life insurance offered by the ASB bank is (presumably?) better than that offered by ANZ
- Whether I view certain All Blacks favourably or unfavourably
- My “first impressions” when entering The Warehouse
- Had I seen TV adverts by the NZ Olympic organisation and did I view them favourably
- What phrase best sums up my view of Wattie’s soups (there were 10 phrases to choose from)
- Could I name certain senior public figures, such as the then Governor General (no), Chief Justice (no) or Police Commissioner (no)
- Have I ever heard of the NZ Passport office
- Would I support a strike by teachers (yes! if it lasted for 30 years or so!)
- Do I view a change in packaging by Dolmio favourably (they changed it??)
- Who would I support as the new deputy leader of NZ First (!)
- Should the Trotting Cup be held in January
You get the general idea; those are just some of the oddball questions I have been surveyed about over the years that spring to mind. Probably the funniest example of them taking notice of survey responses was a couple of weeks back; was asked my impressions of that horrific Air NZ advert – with the group of obnoxious children (who all deserve to be flogged!) virtue signalling. Upon reading my response the advert got pulled!! Notice it hasn’t played for a while?
Anyhoo, just finished the survey for today and what a shocker. It was a road safety topic: “Road to Zero” and all that. There were various options but – and there is a but, dear reader – each option was to view the road safety campaign “favourably”; there was no option to suggest (for instance) that seeking a zero road toll is a lot of nonsense; that I didn’t even accept the premise of the question.
But wait – there’s more!
Whenever I would do the morally repugnant thing and not join in the Mexican Wave of virtue signalling, it would ask me if I understood the question! Could just visualise some odious ‘Karen’ having conniptions that anybody thinks such matters as lowering the speed limit, erecting barriers on seldom used rural roads (seriously? these Wellington civil servants are seriously considering such idiocy?), stronger police traffic powers and reducing the road toll to zero is all a load of rubbish and not fully supportive of it.
When a survey doesn’t give any real option to disagree – just a series of ‘degrees of support’ – and will in due course be presented as “well, we polled 1500 people and not one of them disagreed with our plans”, then they completely disgrace themselves. Fake polling. Do not take the results of any polling on the Road to Zero campaign too seriously, dear readers; all it asked was for agreement.