The Telegraph UK writes gleefully about the prospect of overseas holidays this year for British tourists. There are a number of articles, ranging from places not to go, to reviews of never-heard-of Greek islands, but the most interesting one for me is entitled: “The 10 Greatest Holidays of All Time, according to our experts“.

Take a wild guess at which country is not on the list.

Countries (or cities) favoured are as follows:

Seychelles

Tanzania (Safari)

Antarctica (cruise)

Australia (road trip)

Venice (city break)

California (family holiday)

Spain (food and wine)

India (rail trip)

Greece (walking holiday)

Morocco (hotel stays)

All would make lovely holidays. I have done some of them. The road trip around Victoria’s south coast, culminating in a viewing of the Twelve Apostles is a delightful drive. I highly recommend it.

But where is Queenstown and the Southern Alps? Where is Rotorua? The albatross colony in Dunedin? Historic Northland? The beautiful Bay of Islands? The fabulous West Coast?

They do not rate a mention. Hardly surprising, seeing that no tourists are allowed to travel here as yet. Australians can start visiting from 12 April, so long as they are vaccinated. From May 1, people from visa-waiver countries can visit here, again only if they are vaccinated. From October 1, all tourists are welcome, so long as they are vaccinated.

It is worth also pointing out that, at this stage at least, all of these potential visitors are required to self-test on arrival, and if they test positive for the virus… well, that’s the end of their holiday.

Why would anyone take the risk when so many other countries beckon, without silly rules and restrictions?

Of course, as New Zealand is now the COVID hotspot of the world – you really have to wonder what the last 2 years were about – most travellers would rather go elsewhere. Why risk it when the world is full of lovely places to visit that are relatively pox-free?

The BFD.

So Jacinda’s visit to Queenstown over the weekend to try to attract Australian tourists, especially for the upcoming ski season, was probably a waste of time. If tourists are at risk of being put into quarantine, they will simply go elsewhere. There was no need to pretend to be using the ironing board in the hotel as a desk to try to make herself look like the girl next door. There was no need to send NZ Air Force 1 on another ‘training exercise’ to Queenstown either. After 2 years, the tourism industry is dead and it will be a very long time before it recovers… and playing cute with an ironing board is not going to cut it.

Once again, Jacinda demonstrates that she knows nothing about business. She thinks a cute little video asking Australian skiers “Where the bloody hell are ya?” will have them arriving in droves. It will be interesting to see how Queenstown fares this winter season, but I truly doubt that Jacinda’s fairy dust is going to make much difference.

If we were to remove the need for testing and vaccinations, then we might get lucky with the tourists, although I think the numbers will still be well down on prior years. As usual, this government is a day late and a dollar short. There are plenty of other places to go, where tourists can relax and enjoy their holidays without worrying about catching a cold and being clapped in irons. Jacinda may be about to find out that New Zealand is not so ‘special’ as she thinks it is.

We really are being led by donkeys, aren’t we?

Ex-pat from the north of England, living in NZ since the 1980s, I consider myself a Kiwi through and through, but sometimes, particularly at the moment with Brexit, I hear the call from home. I believe...