The Battle of Portaloo: Part Two

The Battle of Portaloo, a 23 day occupation of Parliament Grounds in Wellington, was fought valiantly but was ultimately lost on 2 March in an horrific display of gratuitous Police violence so great that the date has been dubbed Black Wednesday. It was sheer luck that, despite the injuries suffered by so many, no lives were lost. It could have gone so tragically wrong, so easily.

It would be hoped that New Zealand’s centre-right conservatives have learned something from the efforts to occupy the Parliament Grounds. The first lesson they will have learned is that no matter what you believe to be fair or equitable, no one is required to treat you fairly or equitably.

Had this been an occupation by the Left, there is little doubt that Jacinda Ardern would have immediately stepped out of her office onto the forecourt of Parliament House full of smiles and ready for selfies with the protesters. But you are not the Left. You are her opposition in the face of a gaping hole where political opposition should be. And therefore you were never going to be treated fairly, nor were you ever going to be treated with the same respect the Left gets when it protests.

One would also presume that you have learned from the mistake of voicing demands upon an unwilling participant at a negotiation. Sending a demand to your opponent also sends the means by which they can outplay you. When Prime Minister Ardern was told that the protesters wanted to talk to her, all she had to do was refuse to talk and they were defeated. When protesters demanded a release from unjustifiable vaccinations orders, all Ardern had to do in order to win the skirmish was to refuse to release them.

Did you not wonder at how willingly Chris Luxon stood alongside Ardern and repeated the lies told about you – when he must have been able to see for himself from the social media bombing of video and photo evidence that she was lying?

Don’t you wonder at why he didn’t take the opportunity to use this against his own political opponent? Why would he side with her so engagingly that he would share prime retail space in the media with her, jointly condemning your criticisms of her?

There were a number of flaws in the occupation, not least of which was the lack of planning before it began. Nevertheless, one thing has arisen out of it that has all of New Zealand’s politicians trembling in their boots and rushing to condemn the Camp Freedom protest using the lies propagated by media shills. And here it is: now they’ve seen how many you are. Now they know how strong you can be. Now you have their attention. So now is the time to make sure you use it to your full advantage.

No matter what plan you come up with next to try to get your political point across, here are my suggestions for strategy and planning:

Be ready for war, not peace. If you cannot stomach the fight itself: join the background crew. But don’t pretend the fight is somehow beneath you or a stain on your character. Kiwi soldiers bled and died for you once. Be ready to bleed for your future generations if you have to.

Be of one heart. Have one council of leaders, who all agree on a single end goal with no variations, and make your goal achievable with or without your enemy’s consent and acquiescence.

Get supported. Have one central management team working around the clock in the background, who are channelling all your support for you. When you are on the ground, you don’t have time to flounder about making plans for trivial things. That’s what support teams are for. Identify them, authorise them, and utilise them. Speech writers, social media post authors, organisers and supply teams, media liaison – everything.

Prepare and strategise constantly. Expect the worst at every turn, and be ready for it.

Don’t make it a love-fest. It’s war, not Woodstock. Peace cannot be your goal because peace depends upon your opponent as much as you. Nor is peace a means to an end. Peace is a conduct, not a game plan.

Don’t invite every Tom, Dick, and Harry to dance with you – keep your strategy to yourself and build upon trust to keep your people engaged. They don’t need to know what you are doing every step of the way, they just need to know they are going to war. Remember: Loose lips sink ships.

Establish a rulebook, and make sure everyone follows it. The rules should be simple. Your leaders are the sole authority to speak to media about the issues. No verbal abuse or violence. Your people should be identifiable – sign them up somewhere so you can check later for agitators amongst the crowd.

Don’t change the rules or the goal halfway through the game. Be clear, be precise.

Prepare ahead of time how you will ensure that you have one central information point for everyone, including ALL media – even friendly ones. Just give exclusives to the friendly ones and freeze out the rest. They can eat scraps.

Publish your goal and your social media in one place, where all of your supporters can share from. That was Trump’s strategy and it really did work for him. The one thing they could not do was lie convincingly to the public about his press releases because he published them all on the White House website.

Social media should have its patterns and hashtags ready to go – including memes and imagery. Keep yourself in her face day and night by flooding her world online. Release your social weapons slowly, and have a team always making more. Campaigns on the ground are won and lost with support on social media these days.

You don’t need to engage with the enemy – you just need to get the attention of the people who matter to her, and let them engage with her. Use them to get to her.

Use Ardern against herself – “Nobody marched when I was elected!” So hikoi from North and South and make it a public event – including internationally. Invite comments from the international press and engage with the social media accounts of international leaders accordingly, whether she respects or loathes them.

Tell your people to leave their egos at home. There’s no room for it in your backpack and no safe space on the battlefield.

You don’t need to make demands of your target. Don’t give her the opportunity to refuse those demands. You just need to harangue and humiliate her until she comes to you and asks you what you want. If she doesn’t do that, have your next action for her public humiliation already planned! She will either bow to you or have her public image and reputation destroyed by you; the choice is hers.

Just keep getting under Ardern’s skin until everyone around her realises that you have more ultimate power over her political reputation than she does. Not only will it affect her, but it will also affect every other politician that watches you do it. Only then will you be able to bargain with other political leaders to see what they are prepared to offer you.

He who holds the power over politicians controls the country. Not that you want the whole country, but your freedom is a good place to start, right?

I’m sure there are many other rules of engagement that others would use. These engagement directions are designed to make you the winner no matter what the goal is though. These are just a few of the strategies that I would suggest will set you on the best footing for a win. And do you want to know a secret? These are strategies of the Left.

If you decide to engage, I wish you the best and look forward to joining you. Let the games commence!