Floating around in the alphabet soup, T suddenly let out a huge sigh, followed by a wail of despair.
K kicked himself upright and peered at T questioningly. “What’s up, T? Why so glum?”
“Ohhh!” replied T, miserably, “I’m just SO fed up being ignored by the leader, and yesterday was the absolute last straw! That press statement of hers at ten past one…”
“So what was your problem, T?” K looked puzzled.
“I had SO many great work opportunities ahead of me in that speech, and I really thought I was going to get a chance, at last, to be heard for who I am… A Voiceless Alveolar Stop!!”
“And didn’t she do that?” enquired L, lolling languidly on a lilo nearby.
“She hardly EVER does,” wailed T. “As usual, she gets D to do far too much overtime…he’s exhausted now… sleeping it off. And he wasn’t even supposed to be working for a lot of the time! Huh, even Megan Woods and the Christchurch mayor ignore me… but what can you expect when they all belong to the same club.”
“Oh big deal”, L was rather dismissive.
“Thanks, L, it’s OK for you – you’re always the same!” T was irritated.
“Oh, I do have my dark moments…”, L replied mysteriously and drifted off.
“Could you please give us some examples of what you mean, T?” P posed a polite question.
T was looking very unhappy, but took a deep breath and began. “Ohhhh, well, there was ‘faciliddy’ so many times I lost count. Then, ‘communiddy’, ‘vaccinaded’, ‘eligibiliddy’, ‘stabiliddy’ and so many more. I can tell you, the whole T family was wincing in pain and despair before she was even half way through!”
“Oh stop being so sensiddive!” C cut in sharply, careening past and sending up a wave of soup. “Look at me – I have to change all the time! Do you see me moaning?”
“It’s all right for you!” retorted T. “No one ever forces you to have a voice when you shouldn’t!”
“Hmmph”, C muttered, “maybe not, but look at the lazy ones I have to help all the time… like H and K for example!”
“Oh, H is lovely!” complained P. “I love working with him. He makes me softer somehow, and nicer…” P leaned against H and looked up at him adoringly. In response, H sighed happily.
T was quick to agree. “I work well with H too!” he exclaimed, “It’s just that I hardly ever get the chance to be me, when I’m on my own.”
“Well, I’m totally on your side, T”, proclaimed F, fronting up forcefully. “There are too many people these days who call me in to work, when they should be making you and H work together. It’s too much of a load for just one letter, but they think I’m easier… Lazy sods, all of them.”
“Me too!” piped up V indignantly.
“If you want my opinion, then I think you’re all whiners and moaners”, X exclaimed crossly. “I hardly ever know who I am or what I’m supposed to say, especially if I’m at the beginning of anything.”
Suddenly, wise, jowly old W waded into the discussion, having been watching quietly from the wings. “My dear boy,” he whispered lugubriously, patting T on the head. “This all goes back a very long way, you know. I don’t think she can help it.”
“What do you mean?” T was puzzled.
“Well, the way she has trouble pronouncing you properly. It’s probably all the fault of her parents.”
“Why’s that?” T was still no wiser.
W leaned closer and lowered his voice a bit. “Well, my boy, I actually suspect that her real name is JacinTa…. with a T, but her parents just couldn’t spell correctly.”
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