In using the word connivance I’m not suggesting that the implementation of the Te Huia Hamilton to Auckland train service was in any way an unlawful act other than perhaps in the wider context of wasting taxpayers’ hard-earned money. What I am suggesting is that the transport entities involved and the government conspired to put in place a half baked scheme to trial a commuter train which can best be described as the Claytons Connection. If you are going to trial a venture, surely commonsense tells you to do it under the best possible conditions. To do otherwise is simply inviting failure.
It could be argued that the concept in theory is a good one. Bearing in mind the conditions under which this one has been launched we will probably never know. To sink $100 million into something where you haven’t got all your ducks in a row is opening yourself up to accusations of conduct bordering on the criminal. It appears that the Waikato Regional Council led by its Chairman Russ Rimmington were the main drivers behind getting the government to pull the levers. Mr Rimmington was obviously awake to the fact we have a Cabinet of Thomas the Tank Engine enthusiasts.
This is a government that spends money based on ideology and when it comes to public transport, and trains in particular, not a lot of railroading is required. It appears it didn’t take a lot of convincing to get them on board and little or no thought was given to either the economics of the project from a business perspective or the practicalities from a passenger perspective. The thought of a train, no matter the cost to the taxpayer and inconvenience to the commuter, seemed to be all that mattered. It’s typical of how this government operates. It’s the moistening in the lower parts of their anatomy an idea creates, rather than using what little they have in the upper part to analyse it, that decides their course of action.
The subsidies required for this ancient piece of locomotion means it will never be economic in its present form. As usual, the cart is before the horse. This nonsense is just adding to the nonsense already in place: the non-electrification of the main line between the two major population centres in the North Island, the only part that isn’t.
What idiotic buffoon thought it was a good idea to stop at Frankton? This is a problem for the train and subsequently the passengers. As the Taxpayers Union correctly pointed out when ridiculing the subsidies, a Hamilton commuter has to set their alarm clock for 4.30 am in order to be at the train by 5.30 am. It is then a 98 minute trip to Papakura travelling at an average speed of just over 65kph an hour. Then it’s another hour on the AT train. The return journey means it’s home around 9 pm in time for a quick microwave meal and into bed.
What idiot is going to spend approximately three and a half hours each way commuting? It defies logic. According to the Taxpayers Union, you’d really have to hate yourself and I agree. I have spent most of my growing up years in Hamilton and therefore am familiar with the fogs but I believe Russ Rimmington has not got the foggiest idea of how this enterprise, in its present form, can possibly work. Neither have the others who are involved.
Surely, to give this proposal its best shot you firstly electrify the line to avoid having to use the current mechanical relic?
That would obviously shorten the journey somewhat, allowing for the train to stop at Ngaruawahia, Te Kauwhata, Pokeno, and Tuakau. With their combined population of 20,000, it would increase the potential for more passengers.
It should be noted that the last time this idea was tried, the closer the train got to Auckland the more people boarded. Therefore Pokeno and Tuakau should be included as stops. It won’t make much of a difference adding another ten minutes onto what is already a ridiculously long journey.
Jacinda Ardern, in launching Te Huia, said that she was very moved that the train’s livery and her attire were matching. I’m not sure this was supposed to be a good omen for what she called a wonderful train. She then, by using unintended humour, said it represented so much more than just a transport option. Verbally off the rails with that one. The truth is, for most people, it isn’t a transport option. If you want it to be that then do what is needed to make it one.
Having said what will turn out be a porky, she then continued with her unintended humour by stating what will turn out to be another one. She said this service alone will save 73,000 return car trips a year. Her figure is based on a figure for the number of train passengers which will not be reached.
As a result of reduced car trips, emissions would also be reduced, she proudly announced. A question for the Prime Minister:
How are you reducing emissions when the chosen means of transport is a diesel locomotive?
I apologise to the Prime Minister for asking such a difficult but obvious question. I’m sure the equally brilliant Minister of Transport, Michael Wood, can provide her with the answer.
Unless Grant Robertson, who it appears has a similar ‘in charge’ role to Sir Topham Hatt also known as the Fat Controller in the Thomas books, is prepared to waste more dollars on it, the future of this not very well thought out experiment could well end in derailment. Something this Government is very familiar with.
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