Apparently, mental health problems are on the increase but now is the perfect time to make a drug well known for causing mental illness even easier to access.

“Ok Cupcake.”

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Actually, mangled messages and cognitive dissonance aside, Chlöe Swarbrick is on to a winner with her idea of a Ministry for Mental Health as we’re going to need one if the Greens form part of the next government. They’re sure to drive many of us to insanity.

Seeing power, as they do, in the taking away of private goods, wealth and individualism to be replaced with taxes, bans and diktat, there will be a well-worn path to the ministry’s doors: probably a permanent queue, I suspect.

The difficulty is, of course, the ministry, probably to be named Wharekaiwhakamahereora Hinengaro for more left-cred and as a boost to the sign-writing industry. It will be peopled with thought-cripples inducted from their own ranks. They will be clones who think freedom and personal choice are oddities, the very stuff of eccentrics, and they will be Gaia guys and dolls indoctrinated in woke-speak. They will be those who will counsel in mantras learned by rote:

“No, no; Mr Pleb, you don’t want a Mustang, you want a bicycle, we can schedule a session with our conversion therapist today. It’s the right thing for you to do…just sign the consent here”.

The ministry will be fuelled with wealth taxes taken from wrong-think individualists, but described as relief from the awful oppression of ownership and the resultant harmful self-satisfaction of sated want for nice things:

“That’s a nice piece of art; Mr Pleb, thank you for contributing. We’ll be back next year for another stock-take – what’s that? Your legacy, your children’s inheritance? Don’t worry about your children Mr Pleb, the state will look after them. Onwards; comrades, please keep up.”

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Living in Wellington idbkiwi is self-employed in a non-governmental role which suits his masochistic tendencies. He watches very little television, preferring to read or research, but still subscribes...