Idiotic Sign Language

There are times I feel we should all be wearing compulsory life-jackets to avoid mass drowning given the amount of government-inspired wetness in the community. Furthermore, it’s getting worse.

The latest saturation outburst is the Sign Language Awareness week replacing Maori Wonderfulness week.

A manifestation of this absurdity, unsurprisingly to be kicked off by Ashley Bloomfield, is a short video to be made in which government and so-called business leaders film a video in sign language. So called “Business Leaders” are invariably corporate wets who have never started a business in their lives. One thing’s certain; that will mean ruination for their children for the humiliation they’ll suffer.

As I’ve written before, an ounce of common-sense would tell politicians that a gesticulating contortionist standing beside him or her, writhing and face-pulling, is both a huge distraction to viewers and a poor replacement for captions.

I’m deaf in certain circumstances, notably in heavily upholstered rooms. My over-indulgent large personal city office has two sets of couches and if, as occurs weekly, a diverse crowd assembles at day’s end, altruistically assisting the wine-growing industry, for which public service I’ve never been appropriately honoured, I slip into one ear my invisible tailor-made hearing aid. Otherwise, I get by OK.

That said, deafness can be an advantage. Consider this. A few years back, lying beside the swimming pool on a hot summer’s afternoon with an adult daughter, a visiting ex-wife over from Australia and my partner, the three launched into me for not getting a hearing aid, stressing (rightly) what a monstrous nuisance it is for everyone else. So I succumbed and agreed to do so the following week.

Then news came of another earthquake in Christchurch so in due course, back inside we turned on the 6pm news.

Three different Christchurch women were interviewed before we could take no more and turned it off.

Each launched a massive assault on the English language. It was a situation that cried out for a machine-gunning response. I’m damned sure no-one spoke like they did back in my childhood state house days.

So my hearing aid appointment had to wait another 3 years before I finally acted.

Now machine guns have been banned one can only wonder how many TV screens have in lieu, had books and ornaments etc hurled at them when say Jacinda appears with one of these clowns contorting themselves beside her.

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The ultimate wonderful send-up of this nonsense occurred 7 years back at Nelson Mandela’s funeral when a new dignitary in the lengthy line duly took the microphone to address mourners. An official standing on the stage, plainly with a sense of humour, launched into a gesticulating sign-language performance. It was subsequently revealed he was making it up, but no matter as it’s statistically improbable that anyone in the audience was tone deaf anyway.

Of our main political party leaders, when offered a television interview opportunity and asked would they like a sign-language contortionist beside them, how many would agree?

Obviously Jacinda who has form. Judith? I’m not sure, ACT’s David Seymour I suspect probably not, the Green’s Shaw would agree to a whole team of them and only Winston would have the guts to tell them to stick it.

Finally, Garrick Tremain has as always cleverly poked fun at this nonsense with his latest cartoon below.

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