What was Mike Hosking thinking when he asked if this government has a Plan B for getting through COVID? Surely Mike knows they don’t even have a Plan A. Their policy is to cross their fingers and hope for the best, somewhat similar to the women in the 1950s who couldn’t say no. They crossed their fingers and hoped for the best; which is why I’m here, so I’m not actually complaining. Now you know how old I could be, can we move on please?

Anyway, Ardern is very happy with the status quo, thank you very much. The tabloids adore her and her minions are quiet as mice. But who the hell are in the plane loads of people arriving daily from far off countries like Pakistan and India? Returning Kiwis? I don’t think so. More likely they are family members of previous immigrants, Labour voters, of course, arriving under some long-forgotten piece of legislation to hang about and wait for their citizenship.

Our kindness draws anyone from the bowels of third world countries seizing an opportunity for self-improvement. I’m sure the PM knows this and why they’re arriving in numbers, to swamp quarantine hotels. She won’t tell you the truth of course, but you can always ask.

If I were a gambling woman, and I sometimes am, I’d put money on government officials being paid handsomely to keep stum about these “returning Kiwis”. Now is not the time to jeopardise your employment, or jepradise as the notoriously poor speaker might say.

As a nation, the best label we can stick on our silly smug mug faces is “dummy”. Naïve and stupid. Think about it. The rest of the world is in COVID’s thrall and we silently accept our fate, make the best of an economy fast going down the toilet and let people arrive en masse into our allegedly COVID free country.

Toilet Training. “There we go dear, this is how we do it” The BFD. Photoshopped image credit Pixy

Actually, few believe there will be an economic crash. Not yet anyway, despite the For-Lease signs up everywhere. I tested the theory of a housing crash today with a comment about the likelihood of mortgagee sales when the extended wage subsidy ends soon. The recipient looked at me like I was bonkers, but was too polite to say so. I can’t be the only person aware of that bemused expression.

We are possums in the headlights though. The last possum I saw was ambling across a country road and actually changed direction to run blindly toward us. It could have made it safely across the road had we not been travelling at top speed and the possum not been enamoured by our headlights. There was no avoiding the stupid little critter that got squashed flat for its trouble. Blinded by the light, the same as we are. We are running full tilt into economic disaster and no one is saying a thing.

Are people thinking it can’t happen, it won’t happen? Jacinda won’t let it? Do I have news for you – Jacinda started it! Of course she blames COVID, but our slow economic death is thanks to her harsh lockdown. The greengrocer, the baker and the butcher weren’t allowed to continue trading, only select supermarket chains got the nod to stay open despite smaller businesses making social distancing easier. We just swallowed the awful verdict and cowered at home, eternally grateful to the supreme leader for taking charge and bestowing the longest paid holiday ever enjoyed. Who were we to look a gift horse in the mouth?

We closed our borders with no plan to reopen them so it should be no surprise that we must stay isolated, opportunist arrivals excepted, until a vaccine turns up. According to WHO a vaccine is unlikely, which is why Mike Hosking was harping on about a Plan B.

We could take our cue from the Don who advocates COVID treatments like hydroxychloroquine and more recently plasma taken from recovered COVID patients. Predictably, he is shot down by media with a vested political interest in despatching the troublesome Trump who actually delivers on promises, unlike our socially acceptable, world-feted leader promising much and delivering little.

So, here we are in a holding pattern going nowhere, with no plan beyond COVID, and no guts to admit lockdown wrecked the economy. Do you hate wusses like I do? Give me a gutsy leader any day. They don’t have to be right all the time but they must have a plan, the courage to implement it, the integrity to admit when they’re wrong and the flexibility to change direction.

Our autocratic school marm leadership is the most boring thing in the world, and dangerous to boot. Would you forgive me if I said I would like to see a spike in COVID cases just to prove the government lied about conquering community spread? Will the government admit that it’s the elderly and infirm at risk of dying from COVID, and will they apologise for not doing enough to protect them?

Recent public health data, from the United Nations no less, says 80% of COVID cases are asymptomatic or mild. We have been well and truly conned about the severity of the disease that sent us running scared, killed our elderly and ruined our lives for no good reason.

The BFD. Photoshopped image credit Wibble

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I am happily a New Zealander whose heritage shaped but does not define. Four generations ago my forebears left overcrowded, poverty ridden England, Ireland and Germany for better prospects here. They were...