The Tale of the Wicked Giant, by Sir Bob Jones, part four. (If you’ve missed the previous installments, just click on ExPFC in blue at the bottom of the page to catch up).
Government again found he was short of money and again he borrowed from the people and hoped that something would happen to solve his problem. When nothing did, Government became concerned, for he remembered the fuss when he took Monday afternoon’s output, so he consulted with the malcontents about his dilemma.
The malcontents formed a committee of inquiry which soon came up with an answer. ‘We are the experts on rights,’ they said, ‘It follows that if the people have a natural human right to schools and hospitals and homes, it is a natural law of balance that you have the right to tell them what to do. It is perfectly fair and only a fool would not see it so. Anyway, as we are the experts on rights so we must be right and there is no problem.’
On learning this Government realised he had been silly to fear the people’s wrath and in a loud voice he declared that henceforth they must give him Tuesday morning’s work as well as Monday’s, adding, as the malcontents had told him, that this was for their greater good.
Some of the people asked Government how was he so certain and, following the advice of the malcontents, he replied, ‘I can prove it to be, the evidence being that I have said so.’
As time passed the malcontent helpers grew less visible to the people for they were very busy with their conferences and reports and with employing assistant helpers and opening many new offices throughout the land.
Now a new group appeared and formed themselves into many organisations and these were known as the ‘do-gooders’. If you look in your Oxford dictionary you will find the word ‘goody’ and it is defined as meaning pretentious, weak and sentimentally virtuous. The do-gooders were all of these things and wished to propagate these characteristics, thus they were known as do-gooders.
Mostly they were the less bright offspring of affluent families. Their parents did not want them to do real work as this would be demeaning. As they could not compete with the other children a new pretending academic discipline was invented for them, in which it was impossible to fail because it was really nonsense. Thus the silliest examination essays always received the highest marks.
This new form of make-believe study, designed for silly people, was originally known as ‘silliology’ and over the years evolved into the word ‘sociology’.
The mentally deficient children were given degrees in sociology and became known as social workers. They were always very troubled people, for the truth was that they had no work to do at all and this caused them much anguish. Many continued to study their sociology for the rest of their lives in buildings Government gave them known as ivory towers, for the sociologists reminded people of ivory in that they were very pale and shone with virtue.
As there were many do-gooders with degrees in sociology and not enough room in the ivory towers, Government allowed them to join the malcontents and soon they too were busy with their own conferences and report-writing and employing many assistants.
But when no one took any notice of them the do-gooders were upset, for they had always been pampered as children and paid much attention. They decided to make people notice them and they wrote reports saying that all criminals were innocent victims of society and society was the real criminal. They said the people on the farms and in the factories who were supporting Government, his helpers and the do-gooders, were in truth selfish parasites, for their main concern was themselves, unlike the do-gooders who always felt ill with disgust when they thought of themselves and so instead concentrated all their thinking on everyone else’s business.
The people were amazed at this but they could not protest, for they were far too busy having to work even harder than had their parents and grandparents just to make ends meet. The reason for this was that Government had now told them he would have to take Tuesday afternoon’s output as well as Monday and Tuesday morning’s now that he had to support the do-gooders, their ivory towers, conferences and the printing of many thousands of reports.
The do-gooders loved Government very much for he was the only person who took any notice of them. As time passed they began to forget Government was just another person, a bit bigger than everyone else and soon they were worshipping him as a God. Government, being only human, liked this very much and soon became swollen headed and convinced of his own infinite wisdom and infallibility.
Urged on by the do-gooders he soon became a tyrant and, forgetting he was supposed to be the people’s servant, he began to tell them how they must run their farms and businesses and how they must use their spare time that he had not yet taken from them.
To be continued…
Remember most of Sir Bobs books are still available and his blog can be found here.