RATINGS GUIDE:

$ to $$$$$ with $ being a leftist trougher and $$$$$ being small government dynamo

For some, however, a clown is more appropriate.

More than one may be awarded.

John Alcock $$$$$

It is Alcock’s first candidacy for Mayor and he is also standing for the Maungakiekie-Tamaki Local Board. He is also the first libertarian candidate for Mayor since my candidacy in 2013.

Alcock says he is motivated to stand by the complete and total incompetence of elected and unelected representatives, ever increasing costs and continual power creep of governance infesting every aspect of our daily lives.

John believes in honesty, transparency, accountability, personal responsibility and personal freedom for every individual irrespective of their immutable characteristics. This is a candidate that certainly does not care for diversity or identity politics.

Mr Alcock has five principles which will guide his decision-making and how he casts his vote if elected Mayor:

  • Everyone is their own property.
  • The fruits of your labour are your own property.
  • You may do anything you like with your own property as long as it does not damage the property of another.
  • If you damage the property of another, you must compensate them to the value of that damage.
  • Rules as intended, not rules as written.

John Alcock will restrict the functions of the Council as far as possible to the management of natural monopolies such as water infrastructure and public transport and public goods such as parks.

If elected he will prioritise:

  • Reducing the waste and cost imposed by the Council to the minimal level possible.
  • Reducing the administrative burden of rules, regulations, by-laws etc. on the daily lives of Aucklanders.
  • 100% transparency in all council discussions and decisions.
  • Ensure that all of our roading infrastructure is properly maintained and that our transport facilitates the lives of Aucklanders
  • Ensure that local decisions are made locally by locals.
  • Ensure that public infrastructure ownership is retained by the people who have paid for it.
  • Ensure that the Council is incentivised to facilitate building consents.
  • Direct and assist the New Zealand Police in the apprehension of criminals and the deterrents to crime.

Finally, Alcock will advocate a law change to central government that allows the Council to abolish all property taxes and replace it with a regional sales tax. At 5%, this will generate enough revenue to abolish all general rates and cover the projected maximum deficit of $150 million per year.

Viv Beck – Independent $$

The Heart of the City Chief Executive will be the 2022’s less-successful reincarnation of Victoria Crone. Blue on the outside, vanilla on the inside and only cosmetically different from the leading centre-left candidate. Beck criticises Auckland Council’s ambitious plan to reduce greenhouse gas emissions for being unrealistic but rather than scrap it, she thinks she can do it better. While Crone was fixated on self-driving cars in 2016, Beck believes supporting the uptake of EVs is the most practical step, including making all public buses emission-free by 2030 at a cost of $177 million. Why doesn’t she just wait until next year to become Labour’s Auckland Central candidate?

Beck criticises Auckland Transport’s radical redesigning of streets in favour of pedestrians and cyclists as lacking sufficient consultation. I would criticise Beck for lacking sufficient spine but she’s managed to pull a ‘monorail moment’ out of her handbag, advocating that old air raid tunnels under Albert Park be reopened and converted into cycling tunnels at a cost of $35 million.

While her preference for focusing on buses over light rail is economically sound, much of her plan for Auckland is platitudes. Beck promises to deliver better value for money by cutting Council waste (when have I heard that before? Every election), ensure local voices are heard and future-proof the city with a shared vision for our region. A consensus politician who will achieve little.

Multiple right-wing political commentators have called upon Beck to step down to minimise the split in the centre-right vote. What is centre-right about her policy platform? While she is standing as an Independent, she has the endorsement of C&R – Communities and Residents, which in most cases fields candidates obsessed with preventing their neighbours from making any alterations to their own properties. It is unsurprising then that her response to steps by the government to transfer single-home zoned properties into three-storey, three-home zones is to promise to protect character housing areas as much as possible.

She is gutless and well out of her depth.

Gary Brown – Independent $$

He claims that he has chosen to put up his hand for the mayoralty after being asked by many Aucklanders, but he isn’t going to risk his seat on the Hibiscus and Bays Local Board to do it. Making the leap from Local Board to Mayor isn’t a strategy that has worked for anybody yet and I doubt Brown is going to make history. He introduces himself in this video.

The only Warner Brothers authorised Austin Powers impersonator in the world performed at The Spinoff’s Christmas party where the humourless, and deflated attendees choked on their social justice after Holmes told one attendee they look like Yoko Ono. The third Austin Powers movie was released in 2002, before half the party attendees decided to discard humour as being problematic. If you want an Austin Powers impersonator, Brown can be hired here.

On the Transport Emissions Reduction Plan, Brown has suggested that he is prepared to champion the plan but that we also need to be realistic. “I find 64% (emissions cut) is quite a high figure – you have to be logical about this and don’t set targets you don’t think you can get – I’d be a champion for it because it is important the city does reduce emissions.” I have absolutely no idea what that means but it is not the emphatic rejection I’m seeking from a Mayoral candidate.

It is possible to download Gary Brown’s vision for Auckland from garybrown.co.nz and it is mercifully briefer than the book John Palino wrote in 2016. I’ve read the document to filter out the platitudes and crap, of which there are plenty. Here are Brown’s concrete policy proposals:

  • Roads need to be wide enough for public transport to access properly, as well as providing access for waste management and emergency vehicles (most of Auckland” streets were not laid with a long-term vision in mind and unless Brown is willing to bulldoze thousands of houses, he can only try to influence the construction of streets in the future).
  • Parking needs to be a focus and rather than taking street parking away from our residential areas, why not incorporate more off street parking into our new builds? a) Because not everyone demands a car park with their apartment. I pay rent for a carpark in my apartment in Melbourne and I don’t own a car. It adds up to $100 a week to my rental bill. b) every new development rule is a development delayed.
  • He pledges to empower Local Boards to have more say in the development and future planning of their areas and more budgetary control and responsibility for their region – including the tendering and implementation of local contractors in their area. I can see merit in decentralising decision making down to the Local Board level but too much power in the hands of those with Local Board abilities and Parliamentary sized-egos is dangerous. There need to be clear limits, especially when it comes to interfering in how people enjoy their private homes. Local Board members will also find themselves needing to work full-time and that will require significant pay rises.
  • Review revenue generating assets, projects, businesses and events. Gary will ask which assets are bringing revenue into our city and what is the ratio of outgoings relevant to the income? Ports of Auckland should be put up for sale. In 2017, it returned a dividend of $51.3 million to Auckland Council, dropping to $3.7 million in 2021, before rising to $14.2 million in 2022. Even the dividends paid at the higher range are insignificant compared to the Council’s total revenue of $5.7 billion in the previous financial year. With interest costs of the Council’s $11.1 billion debt exceeding $1 million a day, Ports of Auckland’s dividend during good times is wiped out in less than two months by interest payments on debt.
  • At a time when the Council is forecasting a budget shortfall of between $90 million and $150 million a year for the next decade, Brown wants to bring the focus on people back by re-launching events and family entertainment. “Let’s get back to celebrating diversity, our people and our incredible facilities and natural resources…” How about a bit of fiscal responsibility?
  • More community facilities are required, such as sports facilities, libraries, youth centres, polls, arts and events facilities. The annual budget deficit ranges from $90 million to $150 million every year for the next decade. How about you focus on that?

If it’s (Gary) brown, flush it down.

Wayne Brown – Fix Auckland $$$$$

I was not particularly enthusiastic about Wayne Brown’s candidacy when he first announced he was standing for Mayor. His promise to “fix Auckland” was initially missing the crucial “how.”  In the last week of August 2022, Newsroom published what they probably intended to be a hit job on Brown; The political rise and fall of Wayne Brown. The most irritating aspect of this opinion piece is that it added to the number of candidates I am considering voting for, a radical change from the usual two-horse Auckland Mayoral race. The basic summary of the article, which covered Brown’s two terms as Mayor of the Far North District Council, is that Brown is blunt, rude and ruthless in the reform of local government, caring little for niceties in his determination to cut cancerous waste out of local government. The piece also alludes to a controversy in which Brown was less careful than he should have been in how his businesses dealt with the Council, opening up accusations of a conflict of interest.

Wayne Brown does not shy away from his track record of radical reform and openly tells voters that he is going to change Auckland a lot more than they think and if that concerns them, they probably shouldn’t bother ringing his number. 

So, how does Brown intend to fix Auckland?

  • Fixing our infrastructure. There are big projects all over Auckland – from the City Rail Link to the Western and Eastern busway and drainage projects – all are well behind time and well over budget. We need to get them under control and finished before launching more plans and projects.
  • Stop Wasting Money: Auckland Council and CCOs are top-heavy with overpaid managers who waste ratepayers’ money and this needs to be stopped. Before spending money, Council will have to ask, ‘Does this make ratepayers better off and are we getting value for that money?’ Personally I’d like to see a more concrete and hardline direction from the Mayor. Tell us exactly what you think local government should and shouldn’t fund, then we can measure whether your plans are going to make a material financial difference.
  • Take Back Control of Council Organisations: Our important council services are left under the control of independent boards. Their performance must improve and better reflect their communities’ priorities, not spend up on marketing budgets and PR departments. The point of creating these independent CCOs was to prevent politicians from interfering in their functions with political biases. However many, such as Auckland Transport, have been captured by far-left ideologues and I agree that there needs to be greater oversight of their functions by politicians appointed to their boards.
  • Get Auckland Moving Faster: We need to finish big works projects and get rid of road cones and cordons. We will move freight from the Port onto rail, taking thousands of heavy trucks off the roads overnight and decongesting everything from the city centre outwards. 

This is the current rail network in Auckland. I am highly sceptical that a passenger network which shuts down due to minor incidents has the capacity to replace thousands of trucks currently transporting goods out of the Ports of Auckland facility.

  • Make the most of our Harbour and environment. Ports of Auckland occupies $6 billion of prime waterfront land – currently used as storage for imported cars and piles of containers – and returns no rates or dividends to the Council. They must start making real returns for ratepayers. The best return Ports of Auckland could make for ratepayers would be if it and the land underneath it were sold.

Wayne Brown isn’t the only candidate that I have awarded $$$$$ however he is the most experienced candidate. With a track record of radical reforms on the Far North District Council, being brought in to run Vector following the infamous CBD blackout in 1998 as well as having an impressive record in health sector governance.

Tricia Cheel – STOP Trashing Our Planet

(5 clowns)

STOP Trashing Our Planet Mayoral candidate, 8/21 4,116 votes (1.11%)

Perennial conspiracy nut Cheel wants Auckland to become the healthiest, kindest and happiest city in the world. However, that didn’t stop her from personally entering people’s businesses and harassing them for complying with the government’s Covid rules. If she had any guts she would have taken her fight to the government rather than bullying the victims.

Cheel is a classical homoeopath who has proudly made over 500 adults stupider through Community Education on homoeopathy.

She believes People’s Assemblies should be used to institute local community-based actions to tackle transport, waste, weed management and other issues. Auckland already has “People’s Assemblies”; they’re called Local Boards.

Cheel is anti-fluoride and claims she stopped feeling like she was “walking through treacle” within one day of ceasing to drink tap water in Auckland. She is anti-1080 and claims there are better alternatives to dropping 1080 into water catchments while ignoring the fact 1080 is the most water-soluble poison available to address pests. She also wants Auckland to become New Zealand’s first organic city in 2030. Perhaps she should see what happened to Sri Lanka when that country decided to go organic.

Cheel is an advocate of free public transport and believes that as going organic and chemical-free will result in better health outcomes, the Ministries of Police, Social Welfare and Health will have spare funding to provide Auckland Council with additional revenue.

Efeso Collins – Independent $

Otara-Papatoetoe Local Board Chairperson 2013-2016, Manukau ward Councillor 2016-2022

Invoking Phil Goff, Collins claims to have been a fiercely independent councillor, despite being affiliated to Labour for his two terms on Council.

Collins voted against the Auckland Regional Fuel Tax because he considered it to be a regressive tax (it is) but supports courageously tackling climate change and free public transport. That and a commitment to join a more inclusive Council where the voice of youth is treasured are the only policies on his website.

It would appear Mayor Collins would create plenty more highly paid jobs in his office, promising to have a business advisor, Maori advisor and also planning to set up a Mayoral Coalition on climate change. He also intends to create a Mayoral Environmental Competition for schools to develop ideas to address environmental challenges in Auckland.

Collins continues to be vague about whether rates increases will reach higher levels under his mayoralty. One month ago, he said the national affordability benchmark for rates is 5% of income and Auckland’s rates are currently around 3.5% of income. Rates could increase by 50% while remaining below Collins’ 5% threshold of affordability.

Michael Coote – Independent $$

Independent candidate in 2019. 7/21 5,611 votes (1.44%)

In a repeat of his 2019 Mayoral candidacy, Coote has chosen to focus on racially equal treatment of Aucklanders. This is an admirable policy but there is very little he can do about it in local government, other than advocate, because central government legislation determines the obligations of the Council.

He says any racially inegalitarian aspect of Auckland Council, such as the Independent Maori Statutory Board should be abolished. I agree with him. However, Auckland Council can’t abolish the IMSB – that requires an Act of Parliament.

As Coote makes no other promises, should he be elected Mayor, I believe he would be very ineffective.

Tony Corbett – Independent $$

Independent candidate in 2022 Tauranga By-Election. 10/11. 17 votes (0.08%)

Corbett is also standing in the Albany ward. He has five top priorities should he be elected.

  • Less Rates/Tax – Zero rates rise in 2023 (the rates increase is already locked in, he would have to wait until 2024). Cancel Auckland’s petrol tax (requires Parliament to approve though it probably would be passed). Free express bus ride to central city on Monday and Friday. Free car parking at Council-owned venues on Saturdays (the Auckland fuel-tax has generated $515 million since 2018, though apparently half of this revenue has never been spent).
  • Less Waste – Cancel the unscientific nonsense ‘climate change’ Action Plan costing ratepayers $1 billion over the next ten years, for a 1% reduction in vehicle emissions. The first year of the Climate Action Targeted Rate is expected to generate $574 million in revenue over ten years as part of the Council’s plan to reduce emissions by 64% by 2030. I agree the CATR should be axed but Corbett’s figures appear to be made up.
  • Less Debt – No to the divisive co-governance control of NZ’s water under ‘Three Waters.’ Currently, Council debt has increased by $4 billion since 2016. Corbett is planning to freeze rates, abolish the regional fuel tax and increase spending on public transport at a time the Council is forecasting deficits of $90-150 million per year for the next decade. How will Corbett reduce debt?
  • Less Homeless – Corbett buys into the conspiracy theory that Auckland has thousands of empty homes and that 1% of the CV levy would stop people from owning empty homes for speculative reasons.
  • No co-governance seats on council because they are divisive and inconsistent with the Treaty of Waitangi.

James Dunphy $$

The activist shareholder launched his campaign on Friday 9 September, holding a discussion with Mayoral candidate Viv Beck. That’s weird. However, unlike most of the candidates standing for Mayor, Dunphy is a successful financial investor, having worked in the investment banking industry for 25 years. Dunphy’s website specified five vague policies:

  • Do better for business – large and small businesses are our economic life blood. Their strength is our prosperity. I don’t disagree but this tells me nothing about his plans for the city.
  • Take the city back from the few who strive to destroy it. Is there a genuine conspiracy afoot or is he referring to the low-quality elected officials with good intentions?
  • Remind Wellington that we are Auckland with businesses to run and lives to lead. 
  • Improve Council stewardship and management of major assets and businesses.
  • Act with the financial discipline and vision of our impressive SME businesses. I can’t dispute that.

Dunphy hasn’t provided a candidate statement aside from his website and quite frankly, I can’t see any compelling vision that might gain my support.

David Feist $$$$

2019 LiftNZ Mayoral candidate, 16/21 2,301 votes (0.62%)

In 2019, David Feist was using the mayoral campaign as a launching pad for new political party LiftNZ. The party has not yet been registered and, based on the lack of activity on its Facebook page, I think it is safe to say it never will be.

Feist’s platform is based on opening up land supply to bring down land costs. I’ve checked the figures Feist uses to justify his policy of opening up land supply and he has done his research properly. He believes that if the supply of land was rezoned and the buildable land of the city increased by 80% this could bring house prices down from $1 million to $300,000.

The only thing I would fault about Feist is his opposition to intensification, which he blames for increasing land prices. The artificial strangulation on land supply by the Council is responsible for this, and intensification should still occur even if the city does build out as Feist advocates.

Alezix Heneti – Independent

(5 clowns)

2019 Independent Mayoral candidate 21/21 514 votes (0.13%)

Heneti started a verbal stoush at the end of a 2016 Mayoral debate at Auckland University’s Shadows Bar when she objected to withdrawn candidate David Hay being allowed to make a 30-second statement at the end of the debate. If Auckland Legalise Cannabis Party candidate Adam Holland’s (wearing a kaftan, yelling “Allahu Akbar!”) observations were accurate, Heneti assaulted Hay to prevent him from speaking and Chloe Swarbrick found herself pushed about by Heneti while trying to de-escalate the situation.

It is now possible to view full profiles for each candidate on voteauckland.co.nz in addition to the candidate statements provided with your voting papers. Heneti has answered every profile question by copy-pasting the same candidate statement as an answer to each question. This is her seventh attempt at being elected to public office and she insists she is a gutsy kiwi who really has tried.

She’s a lazy lunatic. 

I am being polite.

Robert Hu – Independent $

Robert has a legal background having previously worked for major pharmaceutical companies. He is currently enrolled in a PhD project at Te Whare Wananga o Awanuiarangi and is the author of a trilingual Chinese, English and Te Reo book to promote inter-ethnic communication. He is a bit fixated on diversity and the postmodernist interpretation of the Treaty of Waitangi. He wants to see Auckland return to its optimal state as a safe, happy, healthy global city with Aroha.

A: Accountability of Representation

R: Responsibly Governance (sic)

O: Opportunities for All

H: Housing Acceleration

A: Action

His main policy focus is on affordable housing which he seeks to achieve by improving the efficiency of the Code of Compliance process, seeking to reduce the installation fees required for utility equipment (who is going to pay for that?), lower housing costs (at a time when building materials have never been more expensive) and effectively manage and control the housing prices at a local government level in Auckland.

Even if Auckland Council could control housing prices, that would have an economically disastrous impact on the housing market and destroy future supply.

Ted Johnston – New Conservative $$$

2019 Independent Mayoral candidate 5/21 15,637 votes (4.25%)

“I am the only one who can fix Auckland.” I haven’t heard such a level of self-confidence since Sir Robert Muldoon.

Johnston does have an impressive background outside of politics, having worked as a self-employed criminal lawyer in Otara for thirty years. When Johnston announced his candidacy in May, he said he wanted to paint the Auckland Harbour bridge blue and construct a western-ring rail route that would connect West Auckland and the North Shore with rail.

He says that to develop the city centre we must improve the rail network for ease of transport in and out, open the streets again to allow people to drive and park in the city as well as make parking free in the central city. He wants a police station in the CBD (there is one in Cook Street), regular police patrols and to clear the homeless and beggars out of the city. He would work with central government social services to place them in shelters outside the city.

He supports protecting the environment and good crop growing land (presumably he opposes opening up more land for residential development) but is not interested in adopting policies to address global warming during a cost of living crisis while the world’s biggest polluters do nothing.

He opposes any new taxes, prefers there be no increase in rates and pledges to achieve this by reducing wastage, incompetence and ideological wish list spending. He wants to re-examine the taxation system which presumably would require a law change in Parliament, abolish the Regional Fuel Tax and oppose congestion charges.

In order to keep kids out of gangs and criminal activity, he would focus on after-school activities, development of parks and reserves and the building of stadiums (really?) in poorer areas.

Ted Johnston’s online profile is written horrifically badly and he seems to confuse the $14.9 billion the Government expects to spend on rail from the CBD to the Airport with Council finances. However, he is explicitly in favour of keeping rates low and reviewing poor-quality spending.

Michael Kampkes – Independent

(2 clowns)

Michael has two main bugbears: the intensification of housing pushed through by reforms of the Resource Management Act and the environment. He plans to fight the expansion of medium-density zoning beyond existing zones stipulated in the Unitary plan by tightening the regulatory process to obtain resource consent as much as legally possible. This will be done by advising neighbours of consent requests that fall outside the current height to boundary limits immediately and by bullying developers by publicly publishing a schedule of developers who do not make a commitment to only building medium-density housing within the existing zones.

He also plans to lead a contingent of mayors up the steps of Parliament with a strongly worded letter (Housing Policy – Letter to Government). Even worse, he wants the government to create a new arm of the Ombudsman’s Office to represent neighbours who object to resource consents so they don’t have to fight them through the courts “against the deep pockets of Council, Government agencies and Developers”. This will essentially remove a reasonable disincentive against lodging facetious claims which cost developers tens of thousands of dollars each time. Kampkes has many other micromanaging regulations he would like to put in place to incentivise the creation of modest, affordable homes. He is completely ignorant of the impact land costs have on property and in his environmental policy rules out “bury(ing) our fertile lands under bricks and mortar” which I presume is a reference to a desire to maintain the Rural Urban Boundary.

He also wants to secure Auckland’s energy independence within twenty years using Council and community investment in renewable energy and storage. On top of that, the Council would also, over a period of ten years, provide collection and recycling of all forms of waste to create a vibrant recycling industrial sector.

Perhaps he should have stayed on the couch and in the fishing kayak.

John Lehman – Independent

(1 clown)

He withdrew from the 2019 contest and endorsed “John Tamaheri” prior to the close of nominations. Lehmann is staying in the race for Mayor this time. Lehmann was elected President of the Government Accountability League in 1996, with membership claiming to peak at about 13,000. That year the League also ran a “Dob a wog” campaign encouraging people to report overstaying migrants. In the late 1990s the League was also advertising a spray people could apply to their number plates to make them unreadable to speed cameras, though if anything, it made them easier to read. The group also claimed to have pre-sold 10,000 pepper spray aerosol cans imported from Mexico. In 2018, after a hiatus of nearly 20 years, John Lehmann invited One Nation senator Pauline Hanson to speak in Auckland and challenged Auckland Mayor Phil Goff to debate her on free speech but Goff declined and the booking lapsed.

The man behind the biggest selling novelty item in New Zealand history, the Muldoon piggy bank, promises to abolish the fuel tax, shake up Auckland Transport, freeze rates at CPI for three years and provide free public transport. I cannot imagine how all of those things are achievable unless he plans to borrow billions of dollars in which case the Council’s debt to revenue limit will need to be lifted.

Lehman says Council should play a part in all economic development and encourage all good ideas. I don’t know how he could hope to define ‘good ideas.’ He claims to be the only candidate with a proper plan to fix Auckland Council but nothing I’ve seen adds up.

Lisa Lewis – NZ Voice

(3 clowns)

2019 Independent Hamilton Mayoral candidate 7/8 1,103 votes (2.77%)

A sex worker from Hamilton who makes sexual jokes and tells a story about one of her shoes breaking when she was using the treadmill. Apparently, because she ran 5 km on a treadmill with a broken shoe, she has the qualities needed to run New Zealand’s biggest city.

One of the achievements she specifies as a resident of Hamilton is the five-year pursuit of Hamilton Council “regarding no RMA negatively affecting a residential area.” I think she is referring to a breach of resource consent or zoning rules. Anyway, she managed to get compliance with the zoning rules enforced.

What a horrible person.

Craig Lord – Independent $$$$$

2019 Independent Mayoral candidate 3/21 29,577 votes (8.04%)

Lord was originally an engineer by trade, specialising in factory automation and production – hydraulics and pneumatics. Now he is self-employed in freelance media.

Lord says Auckland Council is inefficient, wastes money and isn’t functioning as it should. He promises to work with the executive team, councillors and Local Boards to make radical changes inside the organisation so that it focuses on its core task – serving residents.

He supports the pedestrianisation of Queen Street because it is no longer the shopping district it once was and would convert it from a CBD to a Central Civic District; a family-centric park with cafes, restaurants, the arts, boutique shops and painted alleyways. That sounds like an uncharacteristically poor policy to me.

He believes the Council can be most effective in developing the local economy by doing its basic functions well and allowing residents to thrive as a result. Instead of picking winners, this will facilitate people making choices that allow them to be winners.

He is opposed to the Dome Valley landfill and supports the construction of a waste to energy plant, which he will advocate the government build.

To make Council more financially efficient Lord wants to overhaul the preferred contractor system and give Local Boards greater powers to contract out services themselves. He will scrap all Council niceties and vanity projects, prioritising the absolute necessities required to make the city function. He also plans a full investigation of rates calculations and processes and would scrap the Climate Action Targeted Rate.

Despite the legal requirement that Council focus on improving outcomes for Maori, Lord says he believes in treating all Aucklanders the same and will oppose any co-governance initiatives from Council or Government.

Lord also says he will halt the proliferation of cycle lanes and traffic calming installations such as excessive speed humps and two-into-one lane islands. He opposes the light rail project to Auckland Airport, supports a second harbour crossing (the Anzac Centenary 2009 proposal) and wants the Regional Fuel Tax to be scrapped.

Pete Mazany – Independent $

When a Mayoral candidate says, “I am committed to values of contribution and service; inclusivity of cultures, beliefs, genders…” that sets off multiple sirens. He stands for equity which includes fairness and having no avoidable differences between people arising from poor governance, corruption or cultural exclusion.

His objectives are effective transportation with fewer cars, cheap effective public transport, walking and cycling; managing rates wisely by re-assessing contracts for price, outcomes and accountability and “intelligent intensification upwards.”

Mazany plans to have active economic development actioned by the Council including work schemes for youth and the unemployed to receive training and remuneration that doesn’t affect their benefit. That is way outside the realms of legitimate local government functions. He also wants to use similar local government programmes for Maori.

As for public parks and facilities, Mazany plans to implement greater subsidies for all public facilities while providing more information about the harmful impacts of alcohol and reducing the influence of alcohol advertising.

Michael Morris – Animal Justice Auckland

(3 clowns)

Apparently, 150 million land animals and 300 million sea animals are killed in New Zealand every year. Michael Morris wants to be their representative. Winning an election with the votes of animals and the dead sounds like Joe Biden’s Presidential strategy but Morris is running on a platform of “justice for animals”, the environment and marginalised humans. That sounds suspiciously like the environmental back door to socialism.

The Animal Justice candidate has a degree in zoology with experience in public policy and researching public health. When he isn’t representing hundreds of millions of dead animals, Morris enjoys stargazing and his favourite food is (probably) magic mushrooms.

Morris will ban animal racing and rodeos on Council property, make public transport free, including Uber-like services summoned via app. He says he will always prioritise non-human animals.

Phil O’Connor – Christians Against Abortion

(2 clowns)

2019 Christians Against Abortion Mayoral candidate 9/21 3,984 votes (1.08%)

Phil O’Connor has been contesting the Auckland City and Auckland mayoralty every election since 1995. This is despite the fact that abortion has nothing to do with local government.

John Palino $

2016 Mayoral candidate 4/19 22,387 votes (5.64%)

Palino finished in second place in the 2013 Auckland Mayoral contest. He also was a Tea Party candidate in the 2020 election despite living in Florida and I understand he is also contesting this mayoral race from Florida. I don’t think that is a credible position.

Ryan Pausing

(3 clowns)

Pausing has a number of small-scale ideas that he believes will reduce costs and drive efficiencies for Aucklanders. He thinks the self-employed should be allowed to display plaques on their home gate so people are less likely to drive into the city saving almost $1 billion. Additionally, he would phase out speed bumps which waste a teaspoon of fuel every time a driver accelerates after driving over the speed bump.

Ryan had considered running for Mayor of Coromandel earlier this year but decided that as Coromandel is such a well-governed area, he would become bored after running out of things to fix in four months. He considers himself to be a representative of intellectual voters which is even more arrogant than claiming to support evidence-based policy.

Ryan promises big privileges for central city workers and occupants such as creating an endless summer beach inside a hemispherical dome. Auckland will economically boom after Ryan has picked out all the areas for saving money, especially once he has completed the wiping out of pointless traffic lights and roundabouts that don’t have a dome in the middle. He believes that this will eventually save $750 million in fuel costs (I’m sure it will cost the Council billions). Pausing also believes that due to the production of glass, the world faces losing half its beaches by 2100 because glass is made out of sand.

Finally, Pausing believes the solution to Auckland’s traffic issues is to limit the number of people living in Auckland to the level it is today and build a second harbour bridge.

Highly impractical.

Dani Riekwel

(5 clowns)

Commodore Shenanigan is a 35-year-old Pakeha, transgender pirate and has one child who cries for the trees at night. These are Riekwel’s words, not me taking the piss. I don’t think I could be any funnier.

Riekwel claims half of Aucklanders pay 75% of the median income to rent unstable and unhealthy housing. That sounds like a statistical impossibility that she has made up. Her plan for this made up issue is to make rental housing a city asset and housing a right. Is she going to forcibly purchase all rental properties or simply nationalise them? She also wants to make public transport free, protect trees, the ocean and empower communities to create localised solutions to climate change.

She is an activist for Maori land rights, the climate, mental health and housing reform. Riekwel is also involved in the terrorist group Protect Putiki which has spent months using violence to prevent the construction of a marina on Waiheke Island.

The Commodore is also promising to build a wall! She will construct a 100 km seawall from Mangawhai to the Coromandel. I’m not sure if the wall is actually 100 km long because Riekwel says it will provide a chance for hundreds of kilometres of shoreline to be preserved.

“The Pirate King” supports co-governance, ensuring 50% Maori representation on the Council and advocates the creation of a kids’ caucus to ensure the Council is as representative as possible.

MY RECOMMENDATION: You have 1 vote.

  • Wayne Brown – Independent

Stephen Berry is a former Act candidate and Auckland Mayoral candidate. The libertarian political commentator retired as a politician in July 2020 and now hosts the Mr Berry Mr Berry Show on Youtube.