It is no secret: in theory I am a home renovation enthusiast; in practice I devour home makeovers, so it came as no surprise when, for the second time in our marriage, we bought a do-up.
The kids had left home, living either in a new build with state of the art technology or a complete renovation. They tried, unsuccessfully, to talk us out of it. “Remember how it took you almost 30 years to complete the first renovation you started?” they said.
Yes well, that is only partly true. We are now retired but back then we both worked and renovating seemed the best way into a bigger and better home. To be fair, my husband did almost all the work single handed after investing in just about every power tool you could imagine. We make a good team, the visionary and the executor, frequently swapping roles.
The dark cedar boards cladding the house had buckled horribly in the direct northern sun so the renovation began by painting them a lighter colour. Less than halfway through, despite valiant assistance from friends, the gloss wore off and we gave up and contracted the professionals to re-clad instead. The inside took much, much longer: years in fact, as our offspring hastened to remind us.
But this time is different, we objected, we will pay the professionals to do the work. We were very confident, put our house on the market and began the search for our new home.
Every do-up we looked at was magically transformed in our mind’s eye, in mine to the stylish pictures found in glossy home makeover magazines, and in his to the practicalities of accommodating his many tools, sporting interests and unnecessary cars. We envisioned reworking the floor plan, remodelling the garden and completely redecorating with modern styles and colours, appliances and soft furnishings. How hard can this be when the professionals will do the work?
Eventually we settled on a large gloomy do-up with an equally neglected garden. We agreed with the realtors when they said ‘it has good bones’. Despite selling our existing home for $200k below best expectation, we bought it expecting to transform it into light and lovely in no time at all.
The very first purchase on my renovation budget spreadsheet is a new outdoor lounge suite. It is gorgeous and arguably completely unnecessary, except for the fact that the pile of boxes in the corner is the promise of hot summer days sprawled with family and friends, or just me and a good book. Something to look forward to, making the indulgence worth every cent during the hard work to follow.
I don’t regret that purchase at all. If I had waited it wouldn’t have happened. One day we will no longer scrape black film off the windows (three layers of it), prise wallpaper glue off the walls and pull up vinyl and carpet with tiny edging boards studded with treacherous little nails.
Paying the professionals sounds good in theory but in inflationary times the costs quickly became eye watering. My budget spreadsheet ran out of funding before the essential stuff could be scheduled.
There are some things you simply can’t do yourself. Topping the huge trees that turned the house into a giant cave and the back lawn to a sea of moss because grass needs sunshine. Ripping out the smelly gas heaters to replace them with hidden ducted heating and cooling and replacing all the well-worn flooring, to my mind, falls into the category of work best left to the professionals.
Once we had contracted out the essential work and replaced broken appliances and a laundry tub with a mysteriously large chunk chewed out of the corner, presumably by the steel-toothed pooch that lived here, the budget had evaporated. Non-essential niceties like the second bathroom renovation and all new curtains would have to wait.
Cockroaches had inhabited some curtains leaving their egg sacs behind, thankfully quite dead after pest control bombed and sprayed before we moved in. I learned that cockroaches do not lay single eggs but the females lay egg cases (ootheca), which may contain up to 40 young in each.
The dead cockroaches and their egg sacs are banished but we have seen nothing of the rats who were using the top of the kitchen cupboards as a toilet.
Investing in a wallpaper steamer to strip off the wallpaper was a good option but there is no quick way to rip up the floor coverings or the tiles in the front entrance that are particularly reluctant to leave.
We cut the plaster and painting budget in half by stripping all the wallpaper ourselves and engaging the professionals to plaster and paint the entrance and living areas. The remainder of the house will require professional plastering but we will strip and paint it.
The family we bought the house from had it built in the early 1990s. Everything is original, absolutely everything – the good, the bad and the ugly.
Amazingly, there is not a mark on the quality fixtures and fittings, the double wall oven appears little used and the ceramic cook top is unblemished. The kitchen cabinetry has aged particularly well as have the beige bathrooms. Nothing fashionable here, certainly not the dark pink lounge and dining drapes with matching faded pink micro blinds.
Fashion aside, it’s a crime to rip out quality appliances simply because they are no longer modern. The house was a quality build and has been extremely well cared for, making it a godsend for renovation.
Sometimes you just have to roll with the punches. Unless it is broken or absolutely hideous, for the time being it stays.
Gutting the dated family bathroom was not an option financially and in any case I developed an unexpected fondness for the curiously old-fashioned tapware. Even the heated towel rails are staying.
The revised renovation budget allows painting the ceiling and walls and replacing floor coverings, but out of financial necessity our expectation for the renovation changed dramatically.
Rather than attempting to drag this sturdy old girl kicking and screaming into modernity with faddy new fittings and furnishings, our budget forced us to evaluate her charms and strengths more closely and accentuate them with retro touches more in keeping with the era she was built.
Actually, this old girl did us a favour: the very least we can do is to accommodate her heritage when she has many good years left in her.