How does a manager deal with their, shall we say, “less gifted” underlings, if they can’t sack them outright? Easy — “promote” them to a cushy, made-up job for simpletons, somewhere in the basement. Keep them occupied, preferably with something shiny but inconsequential, out of sight and out of mind.
To borrow a phrase from The Simpsons, Louisa Wall has just been promoted to Head Bee-Guy.
MP Louisa Wall is set to become an ambassador for Pacific gender equality, and will also promote LGBTQI equality when she leaves Parliament on May 1.
As reported in The BFD, Wall’s departure isn’t exactly amicable. Speculation is rife, but it is claimed that Wall is “extremely difficult to work with, has been disloyal… fought with and belittled colleagues and staff, and enjoys little or no support among Labour MPs or party members”. Most fatally, by Wall’s own account, she simply clashed with Her Highness, Jacinda Ardern. (They do say that, if opposites attract, likenesses clash.)
In time-honoured fashion, then, Wall has been gifted with a cushy new job that’s been created, ex nihilo, just for her. When Bryce Edwards writes that, “It’s a new position, and one for which there are very few details. It gives the appearance of political favouritism,” he’s being polite.
As The Simpson’s Wayland Smithers reported to his boss, “I rounded up our less gifted employees and led them into the basement”.
She will work for the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade in the new role, which will be Auckland-based.
Foreign Affairs Minister Nanaia Mahuta has announced the role, saying New Zealand was committed to lifting engagement with Pacific partners on gender equality.
The role promoting LGBTQI rights will be broader than the Pacific, with 70 countries in the world still treating homosexuality as a criminal offence.
In other words, if Wall continues to make trouble, she can always be shunted off to Bhutan, Iraq or Lebanon.
Wall’s title will be Ambassador for Gender Equality (Pacific) Tuia Tangata […]Wall’s job is a political appointment advanced by the Minister of Foreign Affairs but Wall will be answerable to the secretary of Foreign Affairs, Chris Seed.
NZ Herald
Still, Wall’s appointment may signal the start of a brilliant new initiative by the Ardern government, to tackle New Zealand’s persistent unemployment and welfare dependency problem: just make up a government-funded job.
After all, the government could always use more Bee-Guys on the public payroll.
In fact, being Head Bee-Guy is probably a more honest way of living off the taxpayer than being an MP or even “LGBTQWERTY Ambassador” to some South Pacific fly-speck.