A grumpy dyke, a tranny and a fatty walk into a lingerie catalogue. No, this isn’t the setup for a rather lame joke. It’s the setup for an even lamer marketing campaign.
Victoria’s Secret sells lingerie: bras, knickers, suspender belts, all that sort of “boudoir”. Its image has always been “sexy”, “naughty”. Victoria’s Secret sold a fantasy.
Now, it’s selling woke.
Remember that Simpsons episode where, deprived of Itchy & Scratchy cartoons, Krusty the Klown is forced to resort to showing, “Eastern Europe’s favorite cat and mouse team”, Worker and Parasite.
Victoria’s Secret is now starring Woker and Prig.
So Victoria’s Secret, a decades-old brand premised on sexy fun, is looking to deliberately destroy itself by appointing — lol — the humorless and brittle Megan Rapinoe as its new spokeswoman.
The humorless and brittle Rapinoe will not be alone in what can only be a Producers-style conspiracy to sabotage Victoria’s Secret from within. Among others, joining Rapinoe will be Valentina Sampaio, a male model who identifies as a woman, and plus-size model Paloma Elsesser.
You can’t make this stuff up.
What you have here is not a corporate move meant to expand a thriving business, but one meant to smooch the backside of this country’s left-wing elite, to pander to the Woke Gestapo. Newsflash: These are not the people who purchase expensive lingerie. Instead, all their money goes towards narcotics, bail, rubber women, tattoos, video games, strap-ons, and D-batteries.
There is no poll anywhere in the world, not even from the fake media, that backs up the idea the general public is anywhere close to embracing this anti-human nature woke horseshit. Outside of a tiny group of fetishists, no one finds obesity attractive, no one wants to see a guy in a dress, and no one wants to hear from Megan Rapinoe — whose only claim-to-fame is perfecting the art of sounding like your first wife as she Luxury Whines. And allow me to add this…
NO ONE wants to think of any of this when they’re thinking about sex, and that’s what Victoria’s Secret is supposed to be about, SEX.
Sure, it can be pointed out that the old, attractive, Victoria’s Secret models were an “unattainable standard of beauty”. Yeah, well, duh. By the same token, Arnold Schwarzenegger is a literally unattainable standard of bad-ass-ness: because gun-totin’, cigar-chewin’, bad-guy-explodin’ Arnie is selling a fantasy. Escapism. So does Victoria’s Secret.
Or, it did.
This is going to be a blast to watch, especially when the competitors come along to scoop up what will be a wide-open market for women who are not bitter harridans but cool and funny and eager to appear sexy for the men they love.
And there’s simply no way on earth these new executives at Victoria’s Secret don’t know this. The disastrous ratings alone for all the bathing suit-free beauty contests should be warning enough.
Breitbart
Victoria’s Wokeness is about as likely to fire up the ol’ boudoir as scrolling through People of Wal-Mart.
There are uncharitable rumours that all of this is a desperate move by Victoria’s Secret to ward off the Twitter mobs, after its former CEO and chairman was forced to step down over his links to billionaire child molester Jeffrey Epstein.
Whatever the reason, Get Woke Go Broke, Swimsuit Edition, is sure to be a comedy of errors.
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