Logic, it seems, has never been a strong point of this government. Examples pop up every day to remind us that ‘joined up thinking’ is a completely foreign concept amongst our current ruling elite.

Whether it be killing off any chance we had for surety of energy supply, boldly claiming there would be a hundred thousand houses built by a workforce that was already flat out, punishing landlords and not expecting rents to go up or simply expecting that emptying prisons would result in less crime, it seems that nothing these fools do, ends up as planned.

Take their edict that one must wear a mask on public transport. Not only is there seemingly no evidence to show that this might actually help, and you are expressly allowed to wear anything at all that covers your mouth and nose whether or not it might work, but they are now giving us all an out.

According to your one source of truth, i.e. the Covid19 official government website, “some people will have legitimate reasons for not wearing a face covering.?”

I was naturally excited to hear this as I have been on a few flights recently, and I was the only person on any of those flights who wasn’t wearing a mask. Sure I would have one with me, a thin, neck warming type thingy that you could spit through, and I would pop it on when walking down the aisle to my seat just to avoid the wrath of the trolley dollies, but after that, I would just nurse a smoothie, or a couple of biscuits for the entire trip, because I was aware that a mask officially wasn’t required whilst eating.

Now though, we don’t even have to be that duplicitous. You see your masters of incompetence have come up with an exemption for anyone who might have a mental health condition that makes wearing a face covering unsuitable.

Screenshot, covid19 website. Who does not need to wear a face covering. ExPFC, The BFD.

Well I don’t know about you but I feel a mental illness coming on. “But wait,” you say. “Surely one must need a letter from a tame Doctor to claim a mask exemption?”

Don’t be silly, this is a Labour Government. They don’t need logical rules and guidelines. All you have to do to claim a mask exemption, is to do just that, claim a mask exemption!

Jacinda Ardern says if you have a mental illness you don’t have to wear a mask. Photo ExPFC, The BFD.

It is all explained further down their page you see.

We know that some people who have a disability or health condition may not be able to wear a face covering safely or comfortably. If you cannot wear one, you can get an exemption card. You can show your exemption card when needed, for example to a bus driver. 

“Ahh, so you need an exemption card, that must surely be hard to get” you naively opine.

Yes, they have thought of that and put it through their illogicality machine. They go on to state…

You do not need to have an exemption card, but you may feel more comfortable showing something official to confirm you cannot wear a face covering.

Ok, so according to the one source of truth, in order to get an exemption you simply just have to say “I am exempt”, there is no requirement to prove it, and you don’t have to show an exemption card. See what I mean about no logic being required?

But wait, it gets better. Even though you aren’t required to show any sort of exemption card, these fools even give you a link that you can go to, where you can print off an exemption card for yourself. It apparently even comes in three different sizes, a business card size for your wallet, an A5 version for your purse, and a full blown A4 size for the visually impaired!

Mask exemption courtesy of MoH. ExPFC, The BFD.

In this digital age, they even supply a phone number that you can call to organise a digital version that you can store in your phone if you’d prefer. So as your humble servant, I called the number, which turned out to be the Covid Helpline, and asked them about getting this whizbang digital version sent to me.

Turns out that it was nothing special though, all they would do would be to send me a link to the .pdf file that is already linked on the Covid19 website and as it happens, I happen to have that at my fingertips.

Because I care about your mental well-being, I shall provide it for you here. If you access this link from your phone, Helpline says you can simply save the pdf to your phone and you’re sorted. Still, it’s probably just as easy to simply print off one of the cards and pop it in your wallet so here you go, click on here and you will be magically transported straight to the file.

So I sincerely hope you all get the help you need with your newfound mental health issues, but at least you can all take heart knowing that The BFD have your back and are here to help. Happy printing.

Saint Jacinda of the Exemptions. Photoshop by Wibble, The BFD.

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ExPFC, ex lots of things. I'm a passionate user of fossil fuels, a proud flag flying Kiwi, I have trouble suffering fools and the permanently offended. Sometimes I may play the devil's advocate, sometimes...