Many of you will know that parts of Australia are currently suffering a once-in-a-lifetime mouse plague. The plague is affecting rural parts of Queensland, Victoria, New South Wales, and South Australia, resulting in the destruction of crops and people’s livelihoods.

This is a tragedy for all concerned… but according to PETA, it is a double tragedy for the mice, who are bright, inquisitive creatures who are merely looking for food to survive.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) spokesperson Aleesha Naxakis told NCA NewsWire the “bright, curious animals” are just looking for food to survive.

“They shouldn’t be robbed of that right because of the dangerous notion of human supremacy.”

Human supremacy! At last there is a form of supremacy that is not attributable entirely to white people! We must be making progress at last!

Er, no. Think again.

Naxakis suggested instead of poisoning the “innocent” rodents, farmers should set up humane traps to gently catch and release the mice unharmed.

Innocent rodents? Surely that is an oxymoron. Yes, I know some people have pet mice, or rats, and that is their choice, but is this person saying that we shouldn’t have killed the rats that caused the Black Death because it wasn’t their fault?

As if that statement isn’t ridiculous enough, the picture of farmers setting up a couple of million ‘humane’ traps and ‘gently’ releasing the mice elsewhere, so that they can… come back and continue to destroy their crops is a picture I can’t get out of my head. Should they give them all names at the same time? Are the Townswomen’s Guilds in Australia all busy knitting blankets for displaced mice to take with them to their new homes? What about counselling for homeless mice? They must be suffering terrible mental trauma. Who cares about the poor farmers losing their livelihoods when there are mice to protect?

PETA seems to think that mice have rights. What about wasps? Blowflies? Is it ‘human supremacy’ to spray all those innocent little flies with poisonous spray? What about earthworms? Spiders? Amoebae? Don’t they all have rights too?

If this had happened in New Zealand, ministers would probably agree with PETA and provided the humane mouse traps for free, as part of the Provincial Growth Fund. Thank God this happened in Australia as you can always count on the Aussies to have the correct response.

NSW deputy premier John Barilaro said, according to News.com.au, the suggestion from PETA was “ridiculous” and an “insult”.

“I would laugh if this wasn’t so serious… I will not entertain PETA’s ridiculous concerns.”

McCormack added PETA’s line of thought is “reprehensible” considering how much farmers are struggling.

A NSW Farmers survey found some farmers have already spent up to A$150,000 ($161,385) on baiting, they’ve also lost grain fodder and reported between A$20,000 to A$150,000 worth of damage to farm machinery.

Farmers are spending a lot of money on bait, but they are obviously doing it wrong. They need to get ‘humane’ traps and free the mice down the road. All 10 million or so of them. As for the damage to farm machinery – how do you stop the mice from driving away with the tractor and doing wheelies around the farm when there are so many of them?

Photoshopped image credit Boondecker. The BFD.

Australia’s Deputy Prime Minister Michael McCormack snapped back, telling News.com.au the “real rats” in this plague are the “people who come out with bloody stupid ideas like this”.

“You have these people who have never left the city and wouldn’t know if their backside was on fire, then all of a sudden they’re telling farmers what to do?

“The only good mouse is a dead mouse.”

Stuff.

And there is the problem, in a nutshell (or should I say a mouse dropping?). People who live in cities often do not realise that their food still comes from farms. They seem to think it comes in little polystyrene containers or plastic bags, magically from somewhere inside the supermarket warehouses. Our Green party seems to think much the same way.

It is going to take a disaster of epic proportions to make these fools realise that their food supply is threatened by this mouse plague. They may not care about farmers, but they will protest in the streets if food starts to run out. While I don’t wish such things on anyone, maybe that is what it will take to make people realise that our world is fragile and can be upended at any time… even by those innocent little mice who scavenge for a food supply whilst destroying ours.

You can’t have it both ways, Greenies. So who do we save? All those innocent mice?… or your family and friends?

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Ex-pat from the north of England, living in NZ since the 1980s, I consider myself a Kiwi through and through, but sometimes, particularly at the moment with Brexit, I hear the call from home. I believe...