Sir Bob Jones
nopunchespulled.com

A full page advertisement in the New Zealand Herald on behalf of a Queen Street watch retailer, The Hour Glass, offers advice on “how to achieve greatness”. I cannot recall ever reading greater gibberish.

The advert shows the deeply unpleasant spectacle of David Beckham’s heavily tattooed hand and on his wrist, a strikingly hideous watch; which is what the advert is trying to flog.

It contains three separate dials and three large winding knobs and I suspect might just possibly be appreciated in Ruatoria, but elsewhere, surely not.

So there you have it. Do you want to be the All Black captain, Prime Minister or swim underwater to Australia, then no problem? Buy this monstrosity and every ambition henceforth is a cake walk.

This is world-class drivel. Two things about it fascinate me; specifically who writes such cock and does he (no woman could do it, they lacking the requisite sense of humour) piss himself, shaking with laughter when penning this nonsense.

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Sir Robert ‘Bob’ Jones — now New Zealand’s largest private office building owner in Wellington and Auckland, and with substantial holdings in Sydney and Glasgow, totalling in excess of two billion...