The funniest, most ridiculous take you will hear today. Apparently old ‘scribble-face’ Nanaia Mahuta could sort out the Israeli-Palestinian conflict!

Yeah, like she sorted out the Aussie-China spat eh?

New Zealand could be following Norway’s example and helping to broker a ceasefire and mediate wider peace attempts in the region.[…]

New Zealand, too, could also play a more active role in brokering a solution.

Ardern’s heartfelt response to the conflict on Monday morning resembled that of a political commentator and observer, rather than of a participant in international affairs.

The conflict was tragic, but ultimately for others to solve – or at least that was the impression she gave.

But New Zealand has played a more active role in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict before. As Professor Robert Patman pointed out on Sunday, New Zealand co-sponsored UNSC Resolution 2334 in 2016 that condemned Israeli settlements in the West Bank. The move prompted Israel to recall its ambassador from Wellington and sever diplomatic ties with New Zealand for six months as a symbolic punishment.

Despite this history, New Zealand still has a good chance of being seen as an honest broker by all parties.

With most other smaller Western democracies falling under the EU’s umbrella, New Zealand is one of only a handful of countries with the credibility and neutrality to talk to both sides.

There are other helpful factors.

The fact that New Zealand has recently distanced itself from the Five Eyes alliance – and New Zealand’s overall good working relationship with China – would help to remove any impression of bias towards a particular side.

Moreover, New Zealand has designated only Hamas’s military wing as a terrorist entity, rather than the organisation as a whole – unlike the EU, US, Canada and Japan.

And Jacinda Ardern’s own personal star power and diplomatic clout – as shown again by her leadership of the Christchurch Call meeting at the weekend – would also help New Zealand win friends and influence people at the negotiating table.

RNZ

So, according to Geoffrey Miller, being a toady to China, poking our fingers in the four other eyes of the Five Eyes partnership, co-sponsoring one of the most despicable UN resolutions against Israel, and having your embassy for Israel located 931 km away in Ankara, Turkey, makes New Zealand an “honest broker”.

This Miller chap is, frankly, living in cloud-cuckoo-land.

The sad thing is the left do actually believe this nonsense and they are running the country.

I mean, just for starters, why would Israel accept as a mediator, a country that stabbed them in the face with UNSC Resolution 2334? We won’t plainly condemn terrorism and we will not reiterate Israel’s right to defend itself? Yeah, not credible at all.

We also shouldn’t forget that their dear greenie friends joined the blockade protests, got arrested and expelled from Israel and are very supportive of the extremist BDS movement.

On top of that, you really don’t think that the activities of these clowns, some ministers and a government whip would have gone unnoticed by Israel and those clever chaps from The Mossad?

The BFD. The Parliamentary Ass of tablecloth wearers.

Perhaps, Nanaia Mahuta should go there armed with her He Puapua document telling both parties to follow that? Mahuta would be able to tell them that the way to become more united is to push for separatism and apartheid.

To really show that she means business she could give a speech about the time that the Taniwha went to the Temple Mount/Haram esh-Sharif and had a chat with Muhammad before he ascended to heaven.

Alternatively, Maori could resurrect the 13th tribe of Israel claim and go for broke to claim ownership of the Temple Mount under Te Tiriti.

Also, being mindful of all the carbon miles that would be incurred, all negotiations could be held in Jerusalem on the banks of the Wanganui River. That’d really be world-leading, that would.

I could just imagine the proposal to both sides; “Tell you what, we’ll also have a barbecue, bacon, eggs, pork sausages, like we did at Waitangi, you guys will love it”.

Yeah, I really think New Zealand has something to offer both sides.

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As much at home writing editorials as being the subject of them, Cam has won awards, including the Canon Media Award for his work on the Len Brown/Bevan Chuang story. When he’s not creating the news,...