Nanaia Mahuta Explainer Editor:
Recently a discussion document about the underlying reasons for using Aotearoa instead of New Zealand was slipped under the door of The Woke Examiner.
As it is Minister Mahuta’s policy to work only in Maori it needed to be translated.
Mahuta conducts all her internal government business and conversations in Maori – safe in the knowledge everything she says and does remains unintelligible to the oversized prying ears of Jacinda Ardern.
The translated gist of the document titled ‘Positive Cultural Appropriation’ follows:
The author explains the need for secrecy, as renaming a country is always the result of a revolution, takeover or coup which then dissipates into a banana republic – it stresses that it is important that the general population remain ignorant of this.
The author lays out that useful Pakeha idiots in the media, particularly Television New Zealand, play an important role in propagating the change.
Activists are urged to keep up the good work of stroking the presenters/journalists’ egos via social media and damning all dissenters as racists.
Whites will no longer be proud of New Zealanders and their achievements.
According to the document the name ‘New Zealand’ reeks of white supremacy.
Colonist whites have dominated New Zealand History – all famous New Zealanders, Sir Ernest Rutherford, Katherine Mansfield, Sir Edmund Hillary etc, except for a small minority, are white.
Famous Maori were never labelled New Zealanders anyway – they were always Maori.
By renaming our country Aotearoa it very neatly expunges historical white New Zealanders: they longer exist because New Zealand no longer exists and all things New Zealand disappear down a memory hole. Renaming cities also helpfully removes all traces of colonisation.
The new Aotearoa history syllabus to be taught in schools means history starts from ground zero and has been rewritten to suit the times.
Crime Explainer Editor:
Labour has heeded calls from Auckland Councilor Efeso Collins about racial profiling and announced today it will decriminalise burglary and serious assault to reduce the numbers of Maori and Pasifika in gaol.
Speaking from the Prime Minister’s Facebook bunker News/Hub-of-truth Police Minister Poto Williams said there was an urgent need to get more Pakeha before the courts.
To ensure this, new crimes, such as not being humble enough, looking too white and owning more than one home or car, are to be introduced. They will carry hefty gaol sentences.
‘I’m sure such measures will get the prison population back to a more equitable and satisfactory situation’, she said.
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