A Mount Eden cafe called “Circus Circus” hung up a sign inside for their employees which reads:
“Out of respect to your work colleagues, English is to be spoken at all times.”
How some trumped-up little cafe manager could be so heartless, selfish, cold and cruel to want a consistent standard of communication and professionalism from their employees in a place of business, I’ll never know. Operations always run more smoothly when people cannot understand each others’ grunts properly – just look at the tower of Babel? It was a great wonder of antiquity before it fell down.
To think that a manager of a bustling cafe would even consider imposing such an impossibly difficult measure of respect between staff members – and in an English speaking country too!
Wokey diversity warriors out there had their feelings severely damaged. Their confounded outrage prompted deep fears that if this kind of internal communication amongst staff members was tolerated even slightly, the slippery slope would soon see us reading signs in curry house bathrooms like: “Please fart in English only.”
Twitter exploded with sympathetic and powerfully worded umbrage from the Warriors of Social Justice, not to be confused with the Social Justice Warriors, or that other faction the Social Warriors of Justice: “Faaaark off!” one crusader spat passionately at me, “She’s over there,” he said, pointing in disgust at a sad, lonely little hashtag on the other side of the great forum.
Tweet 1 – “#WTF? You do know Circus Cafe that Te Reo and NZ Sign Language are official languages in NZ?”
“Official languages in NZ,” I love that official bit, thanks brother Dravot, my heart really feels you speak, but can you please only refer to our mutually beneficial whenua, land of the long white cloud, as Aotearoa in future? Cheers man, know you’ll get it.
Tweet 2 – “This is terrible, the man and woman who served me there clearly weren’t European and I can’t believe they would work for such a place. Never going there again.”
This girl’s mojo, pure wholesome oneness: the servants at the cafe “clearly weren’t European” – I totally agree that all those repulsive colonialist Europeans deserve to be lumped into just one language bracket and that’s English (bit like the manager’s sign). I mean limeys, frogs, dagos, krauts, round-eyes – they all look, sound and eat exactly the same. This girl’s on it!
Tweet 3 – “Hell to TF NO!!! This is monolinguals showing their ignorance. Get cultural sensitivity training. Until then BOYCOTT!!! Go up to Whau Cafe instead – they embrace bilingualism.”
And this girl with balls to spare: “Cultural sensitivity training” – I was hoping someone might do a shout-out on this one, I bet this girl has written a manual for boys on “female sensitivity training” so men can always find a woman’s G-spot but never ever be rude, crass, gross or abusive enough to try and touch it. This should be compulsory instruction in all homes, in all countries, and be taught to little boys straight after their potty training. Give me the boy until he’s seven – and all that.
After a long business-massacring lockdown, which the owner of this cafe was right to place on the sacrificial altar of COVID, so that not one more octogenarian with diabetes, cancer and a heart condition might die. I bet this bourgeois business owner is about as sorry over the terrible sign hanging in their business as a SJW (or WSJ, or SWJ) would be if it had its lips sewn together. The ones on its face.
Curiously, on the Twitter feed where the photo of this deeply offensive sign was posted, one commenter named Ahmed, who clearly is no twit, tweeted:
“I think reasoning behind it is justifiable, and I can see how taken out of context it has become offensive. I speak two languages. If [I] spoke in Arabic in a meeting with colleagues who don’t understand it, I agree that would be disrespectful.”
He then added a totally suspicious follow-up point:
“A requirement for a common language in a professional setting is not racist. They didn’t say customers can’t speak other languages. As another example, Imagine if the aviation industry did not have a mandate for English as the common language for all pilots. It would be chaos.”
There’s always one Uncle Tom of every race, especially in the great Twitter forum, but I think that Ahmed (a noise that sounds a lot like Ahem) should keep his big mouth shut about chaos, mandates, aviation, planes and pilots, especially being a self-confessed Arab. Some people really lack self awareness don’t they? Wasn’t it the Athenians who encouraged human beings to “Know thyself?” Arabia is a lot closer to Athens than Aotearoa is, so if I know these things, jihadist pilot Ahem should too; this is the Information Age.
So now we gleefully await the appropriate, minority-butt-kissing apology from the cafe’s owner over the very racist sign, because nobody ever stands up to SJWs anymore (or SWJs, or WSJs).
I would suggest that the cafe owner makes contact with their local National MP for a jolly good lesson in the art of minority-butt-kissing without any aplomb whatsoever, it’s their speciality and they are great at “going forward” on such “problematic” matters.
Those who haven’t had their consciousness’ raised by diversity studies, G-spot stud… I mean women’s studies, or cultural sensitivity training, sometimes post job advertisements which require applicants to have “a good command of the English language,” or seek applicants who “are fluent in English.”
Whenever we ask if they think they are toeing a line into the territory of discrimination and racism, they make big important sounding excuses by saying they only want employees on the job to be able to be well understood by other employees (and maybe also by those things called customers). We know those kinds of ads are dog whistles to racists – and only racists understand them and actually apply.
But don’t worry, the Human Rights Commission is aware of their bigoted antics and when the new anti-hate speech laws are enacted in Aotearoa after our Dear Leader Jacinda wins a second term in office, those bigoted employers who write those filthy ads will be fined, imprisoned and shamed on social media. Oh the humanity!