Information

Satire.

The Vatican Council and Pope Brian Paul have written to the Maori Council of New Zealand demanding that they issue an apology to Catholics for the deaths and consumption of Catholic Priests and other Christian missionaries to New Zealand.

Pope Brian has made a call for the descendants of New Zealand Maori to formally apologise to the Vatican for boiling, roasting and stir frying Catholic clergy with a side dish of Puha.

Vatican director Bruce Elder has written to the head of the Maori Council Matt Tutu, calling for “an accounting of the trauma” various Maori tribes have caused and a repudiation of the culture of cannibalism that was common back then.

The culture of cannibalism  provided the justification for Maori tribes to kill and eat clergy and it was supported by a number of well known Maori chiefs until the mid 1800s.

the widespread practice of cannibalism was not a food issue but people were eaten often as part of a post-battle rage. Enemies were often captured and killed later to be eaten or killed because of a minor transgression.[…]

“One of the arguments is really if you want to punish your enemy killing them is not enough. If you can chop them up and eat them and turn them into excrement that is the greatest humiliation you can impose on them.”

stuff.co.nz/dominion-post/565543/Book-reveals-hidden-history-of-cannibalism

Pope Brian says it was these cultural attitudes that “fuelled brown supremacy” and supported the “dehumanisation, murder, and consumption” of Christian missionaries in New Zealand as well as in other countries in the world.

“It is a shameful blight on New Zealand’s history that the culture of cannibalism has not been repudiated by the Maori council,” Pope Brian says.

“They must be held to account for the sins of their ancestors in what has been an intergenerational trauma visited on many of our Christian brothers and sisters over many centuries.”

Pope Brian Paul says he has written to Matt Tutu who heads the Maori Council asking for a meeting to discuss the apology.

“What we are seeking is pretty clear – a repudiation of the culture of cannibalism and an apology from the Maori council, from Matt Tutu. Sorry is an easy enough word to say but for us that will have immense meaning,” Pope Brian says.

“Today the Vatican joins that fight alongside our Christian brothers and sisters for an accounting from the Maori Council of New Zealand.”