A face I could punch all day long A phrase commonly put after the name of someone you don’t like, eg Nicky Hager has a face I could punch all day long.
A face like a gum digger’s dog A phrase commonly put after the name of someone who isn’t good looking.
A serious journalist A reference to Rachel Smalley who, upon starting work at NewstalkZB, described herself as the only serious journalist who works there.
A sump of Oilers A gathering of two or more Oilers.
ABC Club Anyone But Cunliffe, as in to lead the Labour party.
Almond fusser A virtual signaller who will go to extraordinary lengths to prove they are more environmentally vegan chic than others. Often associated with chardonnay socialists. Can also be used as a verb, eg She was almond fussing. Eg Jacinda is someone who so constantly thinks of others that she once woke in the middle of the night worried she was out of milk for her morning cup of tea. So, she got up and decided to soak some almonds at 2 am, just to make almond milk at dawn.
Gunts This is a term coined by Technomage who created a design for t-shirts and grocery bags in the Whaleoil blog store. It is a result of Green co-leader Marama Davidson wanting to reclaim the word C*nt and is a combination of the word Green and the derogatory word C*nt.
H1 A nickname for Helen Clark, a former prime minister who later went on to lead the UNDP.
H2 A nickname for Heather Simpson, a mysterious woman who once haunted the beehive but who did not appear during the National party nine-year reign but has magically reappeared during the Ardern era.
Having a conversation A reference to a common saying of Jacinda Ardern’s, which means that nothing will actually be achieved. It is similar to the phrase I have established a new working group.
He irons his shirt with a wok A phrase that means the person is overweight.
He has the body of a half-sucked Throatie A phrase that means he is very thin and without muscles.
Hey Clint A nickname referring to Gareth Hughes, aka UFO boy or The Man Child, who did not know what the Green party position was on an issue and had to ask Clint Smith, a spin doctor), eg Hey, Clint, are we pleased?
Hitman Hipkins Minister of Education Chris Hipkins who, in a heartless manner, terminated the contracts of partnership/charter schools.
Hit job A term describing an attack on another political party, usually using the MSM or a political blog to get the message out. A hit job is one where there is a separation between the source of the story and the media that runs the story. For example, the Labour party have asked via email for Labour supporters to send them examples of personal problems with education or housing and then, a week or so later, negative stories about those topics appear in the MSM as if the people who complained came directly to them instead of to the Labour party.
I have the body of a finely tuned athlete A humorous way of saying that you are overweight.
Left-wing tears of impotent rage A phrase used when celebrating a blog triumph. It means they have succeeded in upsetting people on the left and there is nothing they can do about it.
Lycra force field The magical force field that protects Lycra-clad cyclists from harm because they think that the road rules do not apply to them. Examples include cyclists who run red lights and get hit as a result.
Kumara Bill Refers to the previous leader of the National party who loves kumara chips and spaghetti-topped pizza.
Man ban The Labour party proposed an enforced 50% female quota, which would have meant the forced ejection of a number of male MPs. The Whaleoil blog coined the term man ban, which was adopted by the media.
Man card A term used for when someone does something usually considered unmanly, eg buying a pink car or eating tofu or mung beans.
Martyn Martin Bradbury A nickname coined for the blogger Martyn Bradbury after the Whaleoil blog revealed that he was enrolled to vote under two different names on the electoral roll for two elections. He was enrolled as both Martyn Bradbury and Martin Bradbury.
Minister of dodgy meetingsClare Curren as the newly appointed Labour Minister of Open and Transparent government soon showed in 2018 that she was the complete opposite. She was exposed for holding secret, undocumented meetings.
Mr Jan Trotman A nickname for Winston Peters.
MSM Mainstream media
Mr X is Colin Craig and the interviewer who interviewed Colin Craig, who was also Colin Craig. Mr X and the interviewer were in a pamphlet posted out to every home in New Zealand by Colin Craig. The interviewer interviewed Mr X and the transcript of the conversation between Mr X and the interviewer was in the pamphlet. Mr X used foul language and referred to Cameron Slater as Cam.
Colin Craig told the media that Mr X was someone who knew Cameron Slater well. Media speculated about who Mr X was. Some thought he was Martyn Bradbury. Colin Craig was later forced to admit that Mr X was a made-up persona and the interviewer who interviewed him was also himself. He called it creative licence.
New Zealand’s favourite grandmother A nickname for Maggie Barry.
Oilers One of a number of names for readers of the Whaleoil blog, followers and fans. Alternatives are Whale Army and Ground Crew.
OWM Old white man (or male), also derogatorily called pale stale male.
Pinkos People on the left of politics who are not full-blown red communists but are tinged with pink. Also the nickname for David Farrar as in Pinko Farrar.
Pimping the poor A popular meme created on the Whaleoil blog for the discussion of articles in the media
Political retard A politician who has said or done something stupid, politically.
Poverdy (or Poverdee) When Jacinda Ardern is talking about poverty.
Rules of politics The rules as devised by Cameron Slater:
- If you are explaining, you are losing
- Utu is good, even necessary
- Never hug a corpse: it smells and you end up smelling like the corpse too
- Always know where the bodies are buried
- Don’t let mongrels get away with being mongrels
- Don’t mess with The Whale
- Never wrestle with pigs; two things are for certain if you do: you will get dirty and the pig will enjoy it
- Never ask a question if you don’t already know the answer
- Speak plain and speak simple
- Remember, I’m telling this story
- Never trust a politician if you aren’t close enough to them to hit them in the back of the head with a bit of 4 by 2
- Never trust a politician with a moustache or a hyphenated name
The BFD’s number one rule of politics is Never ever have a photo taken of yourself holding up a piece of paper, a poster or a sign.
Ratf**king Undermining or ruining someone’s reputation. Not a personal profanity but an actual political term. Google it.
Rent-a-quote Someone who will give a quote to the media that suits the media’s spin but that may, in fact, be the opposite of what the person has said previously. An example of this is economist Shamubeel Eaqub who gave two totally different views on renting with one being positive and one negative.
Repeaters Journalists who print, almost word for word, the contents of press releases or other people’s work.
Right-wing blogger A nickname for journalist Fran O’Sullivan.
Road maggot Someone who rides a pushbike. A well-known example is Trevor Mallard. They are mocked for not contributing to the cost of the roads, not being courteous to other road users and for looking silly in Lycra. An alternative is road lice.
Scribble-face A person who has had their face extensively tattooed to compensate for their lack of mana.
SFNS (Silly First Name Syndrome) The theory, backed up by independent research, that people with unusual names are more likely to lead a troubled life through injury, incarceration or an early death.
Shallower than a car park puddle Often used to describe a politician’s depth of knowledge. The full saying is Shallower than a car park puddle in the height of summer.
Shifting the deck chairs on the Titanic On the Whaleoil blog this usually
Shine some sunlight This phrase means that the blog is going to investigate and reveal something that others would like to remain hidden in the darkness.
Silent T A derogatory nickname for Labour MP David Cunliffe suggesting there is a T, that isn’t pronounced, in his surname after the n, hence silent.
Socialist Cindy A nickname for Jacinda Ardern.
Sock puppet Someone who fires the shots for someone else. For example, if a BFD reader said something complimentary about The BFD on a left-wing blog s/he might be accused of being a BFD sock puppet. It is an insulting term because it insinuates that the person is not speaking as an individual but is being controlled by someone else.
SOCKS Some Other C**t’s Kid. Coined in the earlier days of the Whaleoil blog, now explained as Some Other Cad’s Kid. It’s the concept where a child is murdered or assaulted by a man who is not the father but the mother has chosen to live with him, frequently placing her own needs and safety before the child or children.
Tired and emotional A term used to describe someone who is in actuality drunk or has been drinking. First used to describe MPs in the debating chamber.
South Island chapter The southern think tank of the blog known to hold regular meetings over coffee at its headquarters The Quarry.
Soy boy Derives from the negative effects soy consumption has been proven to have on the male physique and libido. The average soy boy is a feminist, non-athletic and likely reduces all his arguments to labelling the opposition as Nazis.
Soyman A nickname for Simon Bridges referring to the way he speaks, as well as his non-aggressive approach to holding the government to account.
Student politician A nickname for Jacinda Ardern.
Stuff and nonsense Official nickname for NZ media organisation Stuff
The BFD The name of the new online venture launched in 2019 by Editor Juana Atkins. BFD is an acronym but Juana will neither confirm nor deny what it really stands for.
The Bloggers Union A tongue-in-cheek response to an issue in the news to do with unions. The Whaleoil blog announced its creation with great fanfare and was taken seriously. It retrospectively made all bloggers members as it believes in compulsory unionism.
The fairy princess A nickname for PM Jacinda Ardern.
The Ferald A combination of the words feral and Herald to make a derogatory nickname for the New Zealand Herald newspaper.
The Media party A Whaleoil blog meme to describe how the media act
The minister for redactions A nickname for Labour MP Clare Curran in her role as spokesperson for open government.
The Moroney effect Referring to the effect on voting that Sue Moroney had whenever she switched electorates of increasing the majority of her new opponent. Broadly in politics referring to the ability of a politician to have the reverse effect to their opponents, eg making their opponents look better just by being there.
The silent assassin A nickname for John Key.
The Three Troughketeers Due to legal action no definition can be provided.
The vast right-wing conspiracy A creation of left-wing conspiracy theorists. The term was used regularly by the Whaleoil blog which made the description its own, much like homosexuals adopted the word gay. Also abbreviated to VRWC.
The Vile One A pejorative term for the failed US presidential candidate Hillary Clinton who still hasn’t worked out what happened.
Toxic the quality or state of being true, eg He was a toxic blogger and not afraid to point out that the emperor had no clothes on. Synonyms: veracity, truthfulness, verity, sincerity, candour, honesty and genuineness.
Trained and skilled A condescending, almost satirical, term used to describe workers at The Herald, initially, but has been used to describe other journalists. It comes from when John Drinnan tried to put Cam ( the editor of Whaleoil) in his place by stating that Cam wasn’t trained and skilled.
Trougher Any person who takes public money. This list includes public servants but is used in a derogatory sense when describing unwise or excessive spending of public money. Coined to invoke the idea that there is a trough full of free taxpayer money with the troughers surrounding it like greedy pigs competing to slobber up as much of it as they can. Some troughers are rewarded with a digitally altered photo where their nose is replaced by a pig’s snout.
Two-fathers A nickname for someone with a hyphenated name.
Village of the damned A nickname for Christchurch.
Virtue signaller Someone who says or does something for effect rather than having a genuine belief, motivation or concern.
Watermelons A political party who are green on the outside but red at heart.
Weasel words Words that say little or don’t mean what they say, eg It is just more corporate weasel words with no promises for anything other than more weasel words and meetings.
Witless protection programmeA scheme whereby useless Labour ministers are shielded from answering questions lest they make complete fools of themselves
WO The abbreviation for the Whaleoil blog or Whale Oil Beef Hooked, which is the full name of the blog.
WOBH An acronym for Whale Oil Beef Hooked (origin: Gaelic, especially old Irish). Say it slowly with an Irish accent.
Wrongly Wrongson A nickname for Martyn Bradbury, lead blogger at The Daily Blog and active political activist at the far left. He was so wrong about the 2014 election that none of his predictions came true, earning him the nickname.
*Dictionary last updated 28/09/19