OPINION

One of the embarrassing attributes of left-wingers the world over is this habit of pretending not only that the modern day is some Dickensian novel come to life but also that they are warriors of some sort fighting a battle. The implication (presumably) is that you’re supposed to be impressed at this ‘great leader’ sacrificing themselves on behalf of the poor and working class in a battle with capitalist exploiters. The more political biographies you read, the more embarrassing and funny this becomes.

The latest example, which had me roaring with laughter at its absurdity – and the numerous questions it raises as to why does reality not speak for itself – was a strange woman being interviewed last Sunday by Jack Tame. Her name is Barbara Edmonds and she’s a member of Parliament in Wellington. Even more astonishing, I learned that she is the shadow Finance Minister; appointed for no other reason than she’s brown and has eight children as was proven as the interview progressed.

After her virtue signal about “child poverty” in her electorate backfired; it was so absurd that even Tame couldn’t resist mentioning her party being in government for six years so why wasn’t child poverty solved; and managing to successfully deny reality by ignoring Tame’s question; she got onto the subject of Grant Robertson, a man who must be the closest thing in New Zealand to a protected species.

According to Edmonds MP – and it’s a good bet that future biographies will follow the same line – Grant Robertson differs considerably from the fellow we’re all familiar with. Incompetent? Indolent? The worst finance minister in history? Handed out $21 million to his new employer to cover fifteen years of his salary, expenses and bonuses? Responsible for high inflation which has disembowelled the living standards of poor people? Apparently not. No, it seems that Grant is akin to Winston Churchill in 1940; some great warrior who sacrificed himself for “the people bruvver”. Ugh, barf!

Picture the scene; late March 2020; Cabinet room in the Beehive. Anyone with half a brain, and any knowledge however slight as to how these things work, will know that the Ministers would simply ask officials “what do we do now we’re in lockdown?”. They would be told there are longstanding plans in place – such as a wage subsidy (last used after the Christchurch earthquakes) – and it’s all fairly straightforward. No need to show off and pretend Hitler’s about to bomb Mt Eden.

But that doesn’t make a particularly good story. Sort of makes those involved a bit, well…”ordinary” and undistinguished; after all can anyone name John Key’s Minister of Civil Defence who took decisions after the Christchurch Earthquake? No, it is far better to simply make things up and create a fantasy-world. Grant as a strutting titan; Warrior King of Wadestown.

So according to Barbara Edmonds “he had to make decisions you wouldn’t wish on any finance minister”. Ummmmmm….sorry sweetheart, that’s not actually true; a man called James Allen was finance minister during the Spanish ‘Flu epidemic and seemed to cope perfectly well; didn’t see the need to show off and pretend anything overly dramatic was taking place. But then Allen really was a well-respected, competent, politician. Similarly, finance ministers during numerous ups and downs during our history all had to make decisions but none of them lived in Walter Mitty delusions.

So why the obsession by left-wingers with doing so? Pretending that they’re heavyweights and doing something unique? Roger Douglas pulled the same trick with the imaginary “financial crisis of 1984” twaddle. To me, it’s all rather peculiar.

I am Capitalist, a simple country boy from the deep south who seeks nothing less than the destruction of socialism and collectivism in New Zealand. Likes: making profits, family, freedom, Mott The Hoople Dislikes:...